|Reviews for Love Doth Fade And In the Night, an Enemy is Born|
| Lili Grey chapter 1 . 6/22/2010
Wow. Simply wow. That thing you said about needing my advice, haha no. Definitely not in the realm of short stories!
Your imagery is so abundant, and not of the lame forced varied. It seems to flow from you like the inky river you describe. The images created in the mind of the reader are breath-taking, horrific, and awe-inspiring. This is the kind of writing that makes me think, that makes me WANT to write. Many literary philosophers, including Emerson, say that literature's greatest purpose is to inspire and this has beyond accomplished it's goal. From the beginning I did not completely understand what was going on, a great and effective technique to suck the reader in. You've mastered it, it's plain to see. I still didn't really understand the whole story, which is frustrating but technically unimportant. What matters is the enemy that was born. Thus, I shall not complain of that any more.
Anyway, I could go on forever praising this but I should give some sort of constructive criticism, because that is what most of us crave the most. The use of 'shit', although effective in showing the evil, the angst, and rebellion in the narrating character, doesn't really fit for me. It feels very urban, very young and new, while the forest and this woman and the imagery conveyed feel old and earthy. Maybe this is to juxtapose more but it's still doesn't quiet fit. It's as if the puzzle piece is the right size and shape, but the wrong color.
Anyway, this is a beautiful story and I am utterly jealous of your imagery. Beautiful, beautiful job.
| I Am The Masquerade chapter 1 . 4/4/2010
This was very interesting. I enjoyed the unknown background that you hinted at, and how you made the forest a great power that made life-changing decisions. Very good.
| Stephaniek18 chapter 1 . 3/29/2010
I really liked this. The way you wrote it, in sort of an Old English language, was really unique. It was creepy, definitely, but in a good way. Now, if I could ask you to read my new story?