|Reviews for Food: by Taylor|
| Written chapter 1 . 4/16/2010
this story was WAY cute! I loved the entire thing, but since I'm bad at navigating the campanella website, I can't figure out what the prompt was. what was the prompt?
very funny, seriously. made me laugh and i love how simple it is.
| LilyWolfe chapter 1 . 4/9/2010
Awesome story! haha, made me laugh the whole way through...I did look at that prompt initially and thought this is way too hard but well done for your outcome! It's awesome.
it genuinely sounded like a 10 year old...although she must be a smart ten year old because the ones I know don't know what a theory or a conclusion is but I'm willing to put that down to the fact she's been watching her brother working on his science homework. :)
I like the Xbox part...and the way she had to cry to get her way and I like the food theme, ending with the picture of the apple on the cover. (Was is just me or was that a little jibe at a certain famous vampire story and the technical skills needed to write it? :P)
Theory: Aderyn should write more.
Conclusion: Tons of awards on her virtual mantelpiece.
| sealednectar chapter 1 . 4/6/2010
Aw, this was so cute and lovely. I adore how innocent Taylor is. You really managed to get the voice of the characters through. You never said but Taylor could be a boy or a girl which was clever (but I think he's a boy:) I wonder why he had to have therapy in the first place? Good job!x
| Artume chapter 1 . 4/5/2010
CONGRATULATIONS ON WINNING! :D
And this story is totally awesome! I loved it! Taylor's so adorable! Why's he writing in the book, and who's Carla?
| RentBoheme chapter 1 . 4/3/2010
This was great! I loved Taylor. Her little quirks were so cute. :) The Theory, Conclusion pattern was good, but I think you probably could have used it in the last entry. The "Conclusion" could have been the conclusion of the story. Just a suggestion.
I noticed that you made some mistakes with dialogue. I'll point one example out:
[After I was done, Mike looked at me, "My pilgrim is better than your pilgrim." He told me.]
That should be: [After I was done, Mike looked at me. "My pilgrim is better than your pilgrim," he told me.] I just switched around a few periods and commas and made a letter lower-case, but you made the mistake a few times, so I thought I should point it out.
The only other mistake I noticed was you left out an end parenthesis. I don't remember where that was.
But, really, great job, and congrats on the 'Nella award! You deserved it!
| Lani Lenore chapter 1 . 4/2/2010
heehee! Cute story, and you used all the prompts really well. Congrats on the win!
| sophiesix chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
nice one! i took one look at that prompt and went : no way, way too hard, but you've worked them in flawlessly! congrats!
| la.campanella.awards chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
So you kind of won the March Writing Contest. Just letting you know. :) And this one-shot genuinely made my laugh. Loved it!
| YasuRan chapter 1 . 3/31/2010
How very hilarious XD. The 'theorie' especially. A very cute story and I think it would make a good picture-book :)