|Reviews for Seven Sins Haikus|
| Natural and fake beauty chapter 1 . 3/14/2011
this i love this is AMAZING! i love how you condesed everything into 3 lined haikus.
| Guy1122 chapter 1 . 9/9/2010
This is awesome!
I really didn't think I was going to like it going into it, but it was amazing.
I'm about to read some more stuff of yours, but this was very well written and thought it.
I'm a sucker for a good haiku, and here are 7 haha.
| Vernelley chapter 1 . 8/28/2010
I liked the use of the emoticons :D
You gave some really good descriptions of each of those words, without actually technically defining them, which I thought was brilliant. I really liked them all. Wrath was actually pretty effective as a finishing line, whether that was intentional or not. Are they supposed to be in a particular order? I'm not very familiar with them. Anyway, nice work. :D
| lianoid chapter 1 . 8/24/2010
I really like the first haiku. The second line had wonderful wording that starting off this piece in a really neat way.
I love the third line under the Lust section. I think it was clear and concise, but still fit perfectly with the haiku vibe.
Ah, the “you spot an/Opportunity” bit was wonderful. I love how short it was (haiku, hello, Liana! XD) because it felt smoothly sudden, if that makes any sense.
The Gluttony section felt a tad weaker than the other ones, but I’m terrible with reviewing poetry so I’m not coming from the strongest of backgrounds in this sort of thing. Still, I think it fit nicely with the theme, and since I loved the previous three, it matters little that I don’t entirely dig this one.
Niice! I love the “so/They are consumed by Sloth...” part. I thought your word choice of “They” had a really strong vibe to it that elevated this piece for me.
Wrath was a tad simple, not as impressed with this one as the previous ones, but I still like it.
Overall, I think this is a really neat piece, Avid! I like how creative you were with this one, and I think the fact that you added emoticons beside each sin was interesting. You have a great way with words, and I’m glad to see your creativity shining bright once more! Excellent work; keep it up.
| thefluffmysters chapter 1 . 8/17/2010
This was really really good, and I think that it illustrated the seven deadly sins rather accurately.
I love how the smiley for wrath is :/ which is like a "whatever" face, not a "I'm gonna kill you" face. I'm not complaining or making fun of it or anything, I just thought that it was kinda funny... your probably all mad at me now...
I really didn't find any real grammatical problems here. There were a few extra syllables here and there, but then again, I haven't written one of these in a long time, so I'm probably mixed up here...
Sorry for being no help...
But it was still great! ]
| Mandyla chapter 1 . 8/17/2010
I do enjoy haikus ever so much. They're short and sweet but can capture the essence of the topic just like that.
The one I particularly liked the most was Pride-it showed two different sides but tied it all together.
The only one I felt didn't quite meet the same level as the others was Wrath. While the other six captured the sins in a sort of...figurative way, Wrath seemed like the definition put into haiku form.
I really enjoyed reading these!
| Narq chapter 1 . 7/17/2010
I'm so sorry! I should've been here weeks ago but I've been just so busy!
Anyways, I'm here now.
I really liked this piece. It was really original and I think you managed to show the seven sins really well.
One thing that you might like to know (if you haven't already) is that if you have shift-enter, it gives single spacing, and plain enter is double spacing (which is what you have now) combining these two, you'll be able to play around with formatting.
| cheveux roux chapter 1 . 6/19/2010
I usually don't read poetry on here, but I loved the idea of haikus and the seven sins and had to check it out. Your haikus were excellent! I think my favourite is either "Lust" or "Pride." However, I think "Envy" and "Sloth" have been placed together, making it seem like one long poem (just to let you know).
| Vroooommmmmm chapter 1 . 6/16/2010
amazing poem...correctly depicts the meaning of those words in bold...loved it...you are a poet and yu shud continue to be...you have an amazing sense of poetry
| Xx-Angel-of-Shadows-xX chapter 1 . 5/14/2010
Loving Sloth! Very funny.
Excellent haikus, easy to read but engaging at the same time. Nicely worded as well, you obviously have a very good vocabulary, and I think you phrased the different qualities of the seven sins very succintly.
I'm off to rad a few more of your haikus but just to say now... you have been repaid! Thank you very much for your review.
All the best,
| SingViolence chapter 1 . 4/16/2010
These are excellent! Great portrayals of the sins, I especially loved Sloth's. I think that's because I'm much to lazy for my own good. Thank you for writing!
| nickyO chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
Very inventive, love the use emotocons (probably spelling that wrong, sorry) and how envy leads into sloth into wrath. Great idea.
| William G. Thorne chapter 1 . 3/31/2010
I especially like how you formatted the haiku for sloth. It shows the nature of sloth, to not care. Haikus are a true art form!
If you'd like, I would like to hear your comments on a poem of mine as well :)