Reviews for Eclipse
Time To Change chapter 1 . 5/7/2011
I love the ambiguosity of the tenses in the first two lines.

"I miss the warmth of your smile,

as you cradle the sun in your lips."

The "as" makes me wonder if the subject of the poem is still smiling, but the smiles are directed elsewhere or if the warmth is gone simply because the smile is gone and the sun's presence there is just a memory.

I enjoyed the pace and rhythm to this poem, enhanced by only one rhyme.

I'm not sure italics was needed for the last line as I think by placing it on its own it has enough emphasis and meaning anyway.
lipleaf chapter 1 . 10/12/2010
"As you cradle the sun in your lips" is wonderful imagery. I love the concept and then the later contrast with eclipsing shadows. Nicely done.
daiysis chapter 1 . 4/23/2010
This was lovely, just simply beautiful :)
Mirabella chapter 1 . 4/6/2010
Oh my gosh i love this! So very beautiful!
thinking.about.thinking chapter 1 . 4/5/2010
I love this line: "as you cradle the sun in your lips." I also love the quote at the end; it brings so much more meaning into the poem. A definite favorite.

~ .thinking
East-0f-Eden chapter 1 . 4/2/2010
it's very romantic.
mormonboy chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
It is nice. I like the metaphors, but since I've never kissed someone before I don't really know what you're talking about.