Reviews for The Collapse Of the Classical Empires
CEE2027 chapter 1 . 4/10/2010
Not bad. As far as I can tell the Roman stuff is pretty accurate.

As for China, I assume you are discussing the Han Dynasty. I think you overestimate the importance of disease and underestimate the importance of disorder (and official/eunuch corruption) in the Han's collapse, but I know what it's like to write an AP essay - you don't always have time to elaborate.

The period between the end of Wang Mang's reign and the Eastern Han's final downfall is considerable (nearly 200 years), so it is my personal belief that he isn't so important in the fall of the Han.

Buddhism's arrival in China was fostered by the Silk Road more than anyone else; the barbarians you mention - if you mean the nomadic steppe peoples to the north - only later followed Tibetan-style Buddhism which never really got a huge foothold in China proper.

Grammatical errors can be overlooked because it's an AP exam! Like I said, I know what it's like to write them :P
Punslinger chapter 1 . 4/6/2010
This is pretty good, but some of your sentences are not clear. For example: "As foreign diseases do not work well in foreign places." You should explain that when people live with a disease for several generations, their bodies may become immune to it. But when the disease spreads to people who don't have the immunity, it can be deadly.

I think the real cause of the downfall of China and Rome was similar to what is happening in America now. The people became so dependent on their governments that they grew weak and unable to take care of themselves. At the same time, the ruling classes in the government became corrupt and decadent and didn't care about defending their empires.

There is a new review of my essay "Sick Politics" that may amuse you. The writer sounds like he could use a strong treatment of Ayn Rand's wisdom.
desadevil chapter 1 . 4/5/2010
Well-written essay. Thank you, I learnt a lot.