Reviews for Changehood 3: The Definition of History
Mysterious MD chapter 30 . 9/18/2010
This was a good, happy, and sad chapter. I didn't spot any spelling or grammar errors, and it was a good chapter. It's kind of sad about Leif and the uncertainty behind his birth, but the marriage was happy and Alexander came, plus he has twins. Honestly I thoroughly enjoy this story, and I look forward to the next chapter if there is one. You have great writing and this story is amazing. Keep up your great writing.
The-Angel-Illusion chapter 30 . 6/23/2010
aw yay awesome story. Wow. Thats pretty crazy. Not sure what to say 'cuz all the stories are great in every way (hey! that rhymes!) Yup. I like Alexander. He's my favorite character.
MD chapter 28 . 6/9/2010
Another great, albeit sad, chapter. These are some really sad (but really amazing) chapters you have been posting. It'll be interesting to see where you go from here. It is a great story, keep up the awesome work. I can't wait to read more of it!
lili999 chapter 1 . 5/31/2010
hi !

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Handbag…high quality,low to
Sea Turtles chapter 18 . 5/17/2010
This chapter was pretty good. I'm glad they were able to get in and free some prisoners. I thought that it was very cool how Jordan and the other 4th level squad members were on the move. They didn't need to be freed nor did they require small talk. They just did what seemed natural: kicking butt :-D !

Suggestion(s):

- "Yeah?" Patrick said as he got to his feet. (...Patrick asked...)

- "What is this place…?" Riley said in a voice that sounded like a whine. (...Riley asked...)

- "What is it?" Lucas said, hesitant about leaving the woman's side. (...Lucas asked...)

I think it's still too early to celebrate just yet. A part of me feels like this is a trap. Poor Riley. I hope that they find all of their clothes so they can help the teams out without feeling too terribly awkward or vulnerable.

Thank you for posting!
Sea Turtles chapter 17 . 5/17/2010
I was on the edge of my seat reading this. Not because it was so action-packed, but because I was really getting into the way you've set-up the situation. I am looking forward to reading your next chapter with great anticipation :-) .

Suggestion(s):

- "Shouldn't we do something?" Eva said urgently. (...Eva asked...)

- "What was it, Ms Samuels?" Keller said, standing up and jumping over to the fallen building. (...Keller asked...)

- "Why didn't the other team do anything?" Irina said quietly. (...Irina asked...)

- It was tight bubble of energy surrounding him, fully engulfing his entire being as she landed only a few feet from him. (The tight bubble of energy surrounded him...) ("fully engulfing" and "entire being" seem a bit redundant. Perhaps you could omit one of the phrases?)

- "Is there a way to keep him from doing that?" said Irina, sounding somewhat out of breath as she raised her other hand to keep the barrier intact. (...asked Irina...)

- "What the state of the prisoners?" Patrick added. (What are the...) (I wouldn't say Patrick added since he didn't really add anything. He just asked a question.)

- "What about the prisoners?" Patrick said. (...Patrick asked.)

- "What did you think I was going to do?" Kay said, raising an eyebrow. (...Kay asked...)

- "Where?" Patrick said, inadvertently speaking out loud, which caused the others to look at him skeptically, but he waved them off and repeated his question in a voice only Black could hear. (...Patrick asked...)

- "How long will that take? We can't exactly just hang around here with Bard and hope Gregor doesn't find us, waiting the door will open." (...waiting for the door to open. - OR - ...hoping that the door will open.)

Somehow I knew that Patrick would become the leader in some way. He still commands a good amount of respect despite his encounter earlier with Felicia. Speaking of which, I had to go back to the previous chapters and re-read what the characters' special abilities were. I found that Eva's foresight ability and Ursula's enhanced motion-detection ability were both very similar. Anyway, good chapter :-) .
Sea Turtles chapter 16 . 5/13/2010
Patrick is working with a lot of very skillful people. I wonder if Eva is the only one who feels aimably toward him.

Suggestion(s):

- "My entire village is been in turmoil my entire life so much so that they didn't find until I was seven. (...village has been in turmoil my whole life; so much so that they didn't find me until...)

- But then it was you…you ended it. (...you who ended it. - OR - ...But then you...)

It doesn't sound like Patrick has to do too much. I was glad that Eva didn't regard him as an enemy. I can only imagine how the mission will go. Please post soon!
Sea Turtles chapter 15 . 5/13/2010
Wow. Way to go Coach. I'm sure that was hard on him. I really hope that Blake will be all right. Apple seemed very worried. I feel bad for her.

Suggestion(s):

- "Jordan would approve something I explicitly refused?" Patrick said, feeling angry but, at the same time, incredibly relieved. (...Patrick asked...)

- "Killed?" Patrick said, unable to produce any other syllable. (...Patrick asked...)

- "Please have some good news for me, Ms Olive," said Jordan. (...Ms. Olive...)

- "With all the respect I have for you, Sir, you are suggesting we use you as bait?" Patrick said, waving his hand to the others who also wanted to speak. (...Patrick asked...)

- Patrick stepped back away from that conversation somewhat accusatory and extremely rude. (...that somewhat accusatory and extremely rude conversation.)

How will Patrick find out where the hideout is? I might be able to sense the block of metal, but how will he be able to get down there? What if Gregory only takes one person at a time? They won't be able to help each other out. I hope they have a plan.
Sea Turtles chapter 14 . 5/13/2010
This chapter was amusing. It was a bit scary at first, but wow, the comic relief was well-timed :-) .

Suggestion(s):

- "You think it's those guys from that place?" Blake said vaguely. (...Blake asked...)

- "I think Apple's liking too much having two babies around," Blake continued. (...liking having two babies around a little bit too much...)

Okay, hang on:

"But you owe me because I'm taking care of your kid."

"What kind of reasoning is that?" Patrick said.

Bwah, ha, ha, ha, ha! *cough, cough* Wha, ha, ha, ha! *gasp*

That's too funny. Okay, now back to my suggestions:

- "What kind of reasoning is that?" Patrick said. (...Patrick asked.)

Poor Blake. He's a good guy. I can understand what they're both saying though. It's a tough situation to be in. I can't believe Apple suggested something like that. Way to think outside the box, Chesterfield!
Sea Turtles chapter 13 . 5/13/2010
That's pretty intense. Talk about a bad day for Patrick. I would be scared to death for Riley and the baby. This can't end well. I'm almost afraid to read further and discover what kind of situation Riley is in.

Suggestion(s):

- "Where's Riley?" he said simply to her. (...he simply asked her.)

Scary, scary, scary.
Sea Turtles chapter 12 . 5/13/2010
What a sad reunion. I feel really bad for Sarella.

Suggestion(s):

- "You hit him?" Lica said, sounding impressed. (...Lica asked...)

- He nodded at the nurse to show her he wanted to see whoever who was there, and the nurse silently departed. (...whoever was there...)

- She stared at him deeply and Patrick cautiously turned his head to the side so she didn't have to look into her eyes anymore. (...so he didn't...)

I hope they find out more soon!
MD chapter 16 . 5/13/2010
This was another great chapter. This is my first time actually reviewing (I didn't know you could review without an account), but I've read all of the Changehood parts and wanted to let you know that they are amazing and I've enjoyed them all. The story flows very well and it's a superb story all around. Keep up the great work!
Sea Turtles chapter 11 . 4/29/2010
Again, Gregor is somewhat of a mystery.

Suggestion(s):

- He hadn't been in a van in a long time so he felt weirdly young and infantile as he was lied down and the two large doors slammed shut. (...he was lay down and...)

I'm glad that Patrick got out of there in one piece. Once he recovers enough to give them the whole story, this is going to cause a bit of panic. Things aren't looking good for them at all.
Sea Turtles chapter 10 . 4/29/2010
That was a good chapter. Gregor is still a bit of a mystery, but I think he has good intentions.

Suggestion(s):

- "Excuse me?" Gregor said with two raised eyebrows. (...Gregor asked...)

- "What do you want with Daniel?" said Patrick. (...asked Patrick.)

- "Why would you do something like this?" said Patrick. (...asked Patrick.)

Daniel is terrifying! Patrick just can't seem to stay out of trouble. I can hardly wait to read the next chapter!
Sea Turtles chapter 9 . 4/29/2010
This chapter felt incomplete. Other than that, it was good.

Suggestion(s):

- "What are you doing here?" Patrick said, tossing the gag to the side. (...Patrick asked...)

- "It all appears very calculated, doesn't it?" Daniel said. (...Daniel asked.)

While it was nice for Patrick and Daniel to catch up on old times, it wasn't what I was hoping for. No worries though, I know these chapters are necessary. One can't live adventurously all the time, right ;-) ?

This was a good break. A chance for the readers to catch their breaths. Congrats to Daniel and Sarella :-) . That's big news!
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