Reviews for Someday Love
NearlyPrescient chapter 1 . 8/2/2010
really charming. I think you definitely capture the simple innocence of it in a beyond average way.
Punslinger chapter 1 . 4/9/2010
No. this is "not your average love story. But it has charm that draws us into the experience. Everyone can understand how being in love makes us feel that we can "conquer the world." But I think you could do better with your rhymes. "Man" and "hand" seems pretty awkward.
Wren's Diatribe chapter 1 . 4/9/2010
Its not average love, don't write an average poem.

It has its juicy moments...

"Affection shown in a hug"

"he never let go my hand even in goodbye"

what is this conquering the world bit at the end?

tell us more.

what is to be overcome?

it is awkward and shy?

don't tell us, show us.

make us feel awkward.

How did it feel to lay side by side, no sex, no touching?

did you want to touch? was it static charged? or was it a calm companionship love?

how is this not an average love story.

get at the heart. your hearts.
YouveBeenJayed chapter 1 . 4/9/2010
As requested, here I am returning your favor! I'm glad I am, too. This poem flowed well and was very sweet. I especially enjoyed the last stanza.
ephemeral addictions chapter 1 . 4/9/2010
this is lovely.i would like to thank you for reading my poem , i enjoyed reding yours.