Reviews for Moonlight Bay: The Beginning
itsangee chapter 21 . 6/21/2011
My thought processes:

1. Yay, update!

2. Awesome chapter!

3. Last chapter? :'(

4. More stories to come, yay!

Loved this story, am gonna miss it, but looking forward to whatever you write next! Just hope we don't have to wait too long ;)

Angelmail x
itsangee chapter 20 . 5/12/2011
yayy! update! aagghh, ok sometyhing HASto happen between Sophie and Luke soon! the suspense is killing me! tehee

Angelmail x
Campion41 chapter 20 . 5/11/2011
Great chapter! Keep writing! By the way, I love Emily's character!
itsangee chapter 19 . 4/26/2011
"And I thought girls were meant to be the melodramatic ones" haha! lol its true, guys can be extremely melodramatic xD YAY, im so happy you've updated! this is one of my fave stories, i love it! cant wait for the sleepover, and more Sophie/Luke-ness!

Angelmail x
itsangee chapter 18 . 3/29/2011
wow! that was so good, it was so realistic i didnt realise it was a dream until the moment she woke up! lol good job! and love the cute Luke/Sophie moments, as always- I just hope it actually comes to something :D

Angelmail x
itsangee chapter 17 . 3/16/2011
YAY! im so relieved Emily finally knows :) awesome chapter!

Angelmail x
Campion41 chapter 17 . 3/14/2011
Yay! Great chapter! Can't wait to read more!
Mysterious MD chapter 16 . 3/11/2011
The last two chapters were good. They were well written, I didn't encounter any spelling or grammar errors. We see a little of Julia's past, which is a good side note. Then she gets attacked by the crazy marine biologist. Then Luke and Saphire's father get a photo of Sophie as a mermaid and, unwittingly, Saphire. Now who knows what's going to happen. I look forward to reading more, keep up the good writing.
itsangee chapter 16 . 3/10/2011
:O i thought it was gonna be him, from the little hints you kep dropping in the chapter :D omg! how could he do this? :O update!

Angelmail x
Campion41 chapter 15 . 3/9/2011
I LOVE long chapters! There's more to read! Great story, it's one of my favorites! There might be a few grammar mistakes, but I would definitely not be the person to ask for that... ) Keep Writing!
itsangee chapter 15 . 3/9/2011
YAY i got a mention! *happy dance* lovely long chapter, i liked all the different emotions, with the sadness about Julia's grandad and the tension with teh scientist... you write so well! keep writing! :D

Angelmail x
Lynn K. Hollander chapter 14 . 3/3/2011
'...made sure there were no stray pen lids or other items of stationary lying around.' Stationary is fixed, or non-moving. Writing paper is stationEry. Pen lids technically aren't stationery at all. At least in American usage, humans lie around, but objects, like eggs or books, LAY around: '...items laying around...'

Too much computer detail. Try: he sent an email. He viewed the photographs.

Not enought referents: A man appeared next to the scientist's desk.

"Ah, just the man I wanted to see," he said, getting up and shaking his hand. "Sit down." He indicated the empty chair next to him. "So what news have you got for me?" Too many unclear hes and hims. Is 'a man' Paul? If so, use his name. "Ah, Paul. Just the man I wanted to see..." & "I went to the place you told me to check, Dr X, but..."

Unnecessary words/clutter: '...Sophie in which she was facing almost the exact direction of the camera.' Try something on the order of: '... Sophie in which she was facing the camera' or even just '...a full face shot of Sophie...' 'almost the exact direction of the camera' is awkward and adds little real detail.
itsangee chapter 14 . 3/3/2011
ooh! the tension built up really well in this, especially in the last section, and now youve left me wanting more now! :D please update soon! :D

Angelmail x
Campion41 chapter 13 . 2/20/2011
Great chapter! I really like where this story is going! Keep writing!

Campion

P.S. Check out my story Enjoy the Ride sometime - it's fantasy, too, maybe you'll like it! Thanks!
itsangee chapter 13 . 2/17/2011
oh, ominous :D i love the tension in this chapter, i hope Emily and Sophie resolve their problems soon :( and im really intrigued about the scientists :D

Angelmail x
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