Beautifully written and exceptionally explained. Every detail, every theory, it just simply intrigued me to read more and more.
I like the idea of the story and simply adored your way of describing. Kind of confusing in a way, but it was a simple and unique story. Just made my day. :)
Loved it, truly.

This story, almost like a piece of prose, is a beautiful work. It has the potentional to become a piece of art. You use words in very new and interesting way; you are very creative with them.

However, this piece can get a little confusing sometimes. I don't know whether it's the style, but sometimes the grammar gets a little funny, if you know what I mean. There are other things as well that make it a little hard to keep track of. Maybe you could read through it and try to imagine yourself as a new reader, just to make sure you're not saying something that's going to completely confuse your readers.

But I really like this story, it's really artistic and beautiful. There are not many writers who can experiment like you do, so I think you should definitely keep it up.

This is a beautiful piece. The idea is simple, yet deep and thoughtful in its way. I like how the girl phrases her words. You have a wonderful style of writing.

Keep writing, cause I love it. :)