|Reviews for Secret Lives Series: Spies, Lies, and Secret Lives|
| moongazer7 chapter 1 . 4/11/2010
Your story was interesting. Not the best but, not bad either. Sophie needs more explaining. Who is she? Why is she where she is? Why does she like to play pranks? What does she look like? Your other characters could do with some explaining as well. I am confused why is this happening and what lead up to this? Mr. Sparkle is either really bad or just don't care and could be fired at anytime as he would try harder to persuade Sophie to stay or not leave. Perhaps if needed going out in the halls. I know most of these psychologists that work at establishments like schools and the like can get pretty darn forceful and fierce.
I can't see where the plot is going yet, but I hope you will produce it soon. your flow was a little rushed. You could have described more and show us more sceens. In many cases as with the bomb you could show the flase bomb or whatever is happening go on. perhaps describe the dinner and also her stocking up to bed. Maybe add more events and other such ideas.
Your dialogue seem alright, and so does your dialogue.
| Rukia Bliss chapter 1 . 4/10/2010
akimbo...good word never heard it before and had to look it up but so glad I did.
I really like this chapter and your writing style, keep up the good work and update soon!