Ive read this story a while ago and for some reason, did not review. I checked your bio to see what was going on with updating other stories and saw you mentioning someone leaving a nasty and unecessary review on one of your first stories. I was curious so I checked.

Jesus Christ. This anonymous review is so blatantly ignorant, I laughed out loud and woke my baby.

"1. Your grammar, it's very good in some ways, and some of the worst I've ever seen in others. The inconsistency is rather remarkable.
2. The girl is a werewolf as well as the boy. I find this to be very boring.
3. You implied that she was raped by this man, whoever he is. I can't deal with that.
4. You implied she's kissed a bunch of men. I find this to be slutty in it's own way, probably because I didn't have my first kiss until I was nearly seventeen, and even then it was with my boyfriend at the time. To date, I have only ever kissed two guys, and so I find it nearly impossible to relate to characters who have kissed a bunch of guys.
5. She's not modest about her body. In front of women I can understand, but men? Unless the guy is gay, I find it horribly disgusting to allow anyone to see it, werewolf or not."

As the anonymous reviewer was pretentious enough to actually make a blast list, I'll do the same.

:)

1) I admit, the grammar was not perfect but nothing is when it's not REPEATEDLY edited. I personally prefer when authors churn out chapters asap instead of spending weeks editing them and holding the readers back from the story. So that comment was unecessary.

2) There are an endless amount of ways to write a story concerning werewolves and for the anonymous reviewer to call the dynamic of two main characters being werewolves as boring implies that, that is the ONLY kind of story they typically read. Your story is not boring. They are. LOL

3) If someone cant deal with rape, thats their issue. They should get counselling and refrain from reading stories that are triggering. Its called self-control and being mindful. Theres no reason for someone to blast an author for choosing what to put in their own work.

4) Judging others for their sexual choices is a C*NT move. I am personally modest in my relationships but I do not look down on others for making choices different from me. It is absolutely perverted to even think of judging others on their sexual choices. What a biggot. The anonymous reviewer might want to practice some self-awareness.

5) This ties into my response for the fourth point on the list. Further, I think it is appropriate for a werewolf to not be modest about their skin, as far as picturing a mythological creature goes. They shift back and forth constantly and are pack animals, meaning modesty kind of has to go out the window early on when theyre always atound other who also shift. I imagine it would be rather liberating.

Anyways,

Happy trails!

Please continue even though it ended!

Well all in all a good story. As always, a completed story in itself deserves its praise. It's hard work to complete a story.

You have numerous typing errors (I've decided that I do not think it is necessarily spelling errors, I think you just don't proof read and perhaps type too quickly ;))
You have some grammar issues, you should definitely read up on how to properly address conversations (quotes). But really that's fine. I don't expect polished work by any means.

Overall the story had a good arc. It was predictable, but it did have some nice little things. The DNA bonding before babies quip was interesting (although how she got pregnant in a week is a little strange) and I liked the insert about Rio's original pack becoming smaller as he lost her and what is happening to them. It's a good entry to a second book without really needing one.

I'm surprised they're in Anchorage and around the area since their names doesn't really match that but all good.

I liked most of the characters; you did a fairly decent job of fleshing the important ones out. The side characters could use some work but you had a lot, a lot of characters so it says something in itself that I didn't get them confused. I wish you'd have time skipped some of the time from the main characters meeting and Rio coming but it wasn't necessary. Despite it being an at-first sight mated thing ... You got a great glimpse of her struggle with it. It could have been really fleshed out more and been superb but really the glimpses were great. You don't get that often as people typically just have that bad ass girl turn softy once mated and there is no inner struggle or power play. You had that.

I do wish her job would have stuck with her though, being a bounty hunter. Him as a sheriff would have made that an interesting dynamic ;)

Overall, I liked it. It has some really great moments. You could use some tightening up and cleaning up but hey all good.

Although it was surprisingly not confusing you switched pov several times in this. I'd be careful about it however because it can get confusing. Practicing in third may get what you want to portray

I just want to note that the DNA bite marking thing for babies was a very clever idea. I'm not sure if I have heard that one

You've got a couple spelling/typing errors. Nothing too big but since it's your first couple of chapters and this your first impression you should consider cleaning it up. Really need to do a simple proof read. Its hard to read in some places. You've also got a really awkward paragraphs in there that's very telly.

As a writer sometimes you have to think logistically. Now I've only read the first three chapters so I may find out why in a bit, but I'm already questioning why someone would bother buying a house if they know they're on the run...?

I'm also a little disappointed your doing duel pov. Mostly because ... They sound so... Similar. It's just like being in the same head. Maybe this will change. For now I'm going to keep reading but bear these things in mind.

Still, its a fairly interesting concept so far and I am curious to read more

Here are the reasons I'm not gonna read any further, in no particular order:

1. Your grammar, it's very good in some ways, and some of the worst I've ever seen in others. The inconsistency is rather remarkable.
2. The girl is a werewolf as well as the boy. I find this to be very boring.
3. You implied that she was raped by this man, whoever he is. I can't deal with that.
4. You implied she's kissed a bunch of men. I find this to be slutty in it's own way, probably because I didn't have my first kiss until I was nearly seventeen, and even then it was with my boyfriend at the time. To date, I have only ever kissed two guys, and so I find it nearly impossible to relate to characters who have kissed a bunch of guys.
5. She's not modest about her body. In front of women I can understand, but men? Unless the guy is gay, I find it horribly disgusting to allow anyone to see it, werewolf or not.

Aw man, what a shame. I hate it when the girl's a wolf, it's boring.

Nice story. I suspected, however, that it might be rather amateur, and it would seem I am correct. You see, in a summary, the phrase "what happens when" appears so often that it is ridiculously repetitive and, in my experience, suggests that the author is, ah, shall we say, not exceptionally adept. I rarely even bother clicking on stories with that in their summary, but I must say I am pleased I made an exception. It needs some very serious editing. Keep in mind that commas signify pauses, so place them where you would pause when speaking. However, please don't think that I'm saying its bad, because I do like it. It just needs quite a bit of fixing.

Very good! A few errors at the beginning but very good

This was a very good story and it had a beautiful ending.

this story is amazing.
I really like it but you might want to edit this story, dear.
don't worry, it's just a few grammatical errors here and there
anyway, keep up the good work!

ive read this story twice now and i still like FACT that ive read it twice says YOU FOR WRITING!(its .com my eamail)

LOVE IT! XD Really good read, i didnt want to leave my computer, get it published if its not:)

Again, another story added to your site and it's amazing.