SEXXY LADY~~

nice poem

Really good poem. Well written :)

1) I think "urn" is in the wrong context

2)"In my eyes to seep" is a bit awkward, one doesn't think of sleep the same way as sand goes through a hole.

3)the poem is a bit based on the rhyming.

4)Also, try working on the beat.

Don't be discouraged, however. This looks like one of your first poems, right? Just keep on reading people like Poe and Frost. Also increase your literary skills-read some classics and learn to enjoy them! For example, I think you'd like some short stories by Oscar Wilde, you can get free books at manybooks . net. I think you have some potential-keep on writing!