|Reviews for arm of an ocean|
| guest chapter 1 . 7/24/2012
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 5/16/2010
"and now i'm scared"... that line juse seemed so abrupt like it came out of nowhere. Maybe without the and to connect it so it would seem more like a separate thought?
"cause the butterflies run"... 'cause
"(you were like breathing)/like that first deep breath"... i didn't like that. It just seemed to repetitive for me. Almost like one line could just be eliminated.
"cause it's like the start"... 'cause
I was a bit confused because in the beginning it seemed like the you in the poem was the narrator's love after another person broke their heart. Then it seemed like the narrator had fallen for this guy before and had her heart broken by him. I dunno I was a little lost with that.
Anyway, I liked the piece. I think you described the mixed emotions here beautifully. I love the happy ending too!
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| Manuel Fajar chapter 1 . 4/19/2010
Love's such an impossibly distant shore; and yet, to reach it often requires a few ship-wrecks.
Your poem describes part of that journey ... m.
| angels know the rest chapter 1 . 4/15/2010
I love the stanza about butterflies running rampant, etc. There's a lot of great imagery in this and the whole thing is lovely.
| SingViolence chapter 1 . 4/15/2010
I love the form of this, it changes the sounds for me, like whispers and speaking normally. It's a wonderful piece. Thank you for writing