|Reviews for Sanctuary (Black Moon book 1)|
| Ray-Anne chapter 42 . 7/11/2011
Your skill grew most definitely through the chapters. It was almost more fascinating than the story itself.
| CEager chapter 22 . 6/9/2011
Ok, First things first. I completely and utterly enjoy your story idea, but (as one of the other reviewers pointed out) it does read like a draft.
I have some critique..please keep in mind I'm not bashing and these are some things that have made it hard for me to keep reading
1.) No person would ever start out sword training with a real sword and a match (it's going to be a wooden stick, wooden sword or very very blunted sword and lessons on blocking and attacking) Especially as Leah has never handled a sword...this leads to broken wrists and possible loss of limbs. Just as someone learning how to shoot a gun would be taught not to stick their thumb behind the hammer (thumb would get torn off), a sword must be held correctly or your wrist will be strained or broken.
2.) where's the lessons to control her powers? Without control, she could hurt someone or herself (which it seems she's already doing) For someone whose supposed to fight a ridiculous strong evil that threatens the world, she isn't getting any training...Even when weak, meditation training to learn control and explore oneself is a good but small start.
3.) For Chaos to be her long lost brother neither him nor Leah seem to give a frick or are trying to make up for lost time. (in fact, your characters all come off as very stagnant and one dimensional)
Again, i have other critiques, but I'm going to stop here to let you know, again, that I wholey enjoy the idea and process of your story and think it has wonderful potential...it just needs some work.
| Victoria-Bell chapter 1 . 6/5/2011
I liked it, very mysterious. But I hope you just left off, and are coming back to it, because it was good.
| mimi 2112 chapter 41 . 5/22/2011
! ZARECK! tears sprung into my eyes when he was talking to natasha by thought! uhhh i'm never good at keeping my emotions under control. This was such an intense and emotional chapter *sniffle* But is was sooo good and a great way to end a story!
You've done a fantastic job with this story so well done *claps*
| mimi 2112 chapter 40 . 5/19/2011
HOLY CRAP! Mya almost got killed, freaking Chaos is dying and then out of no where Spiro comes in, honestly my brain was like have a spazz. BEST BEST CHAPTER EVER! AMAZING!
Ohh and the next chapter dammmmmmmnnnnnnn I CAN'T WAIT!
Loved this chapter!
| Anehalia chapter 40 . 5/18/2011
This was interesting, if a little strange. Did Connor just die, and is Leah's brain being effected by her connection to Zareck?
Otherwise I loved it. I can't wait to read more of your story. Its quite intriguing.
| Anehalia chapter 39 . 5/15/2011
Now that the review is allowing me to write signed reviews, I decided to write this signed review.
| Anehalia chapter 39 . 5/14/2011
fictionpress is refusing to let me write signed reviews, but I felt like I should review anyway. I like the basisa for your story, though it feels very much like a rough draft. The details need work, and all Leah seems to notice are guys chests, its kind of weird. You also had a lot of typos. This is definitely not the best piece I have ever read, but I will give you many Kudos for it not being the worst. Some stories are horrid and I can't even get into them. I could get into your story. Spiro is my favorite character. I hate Zareck in all ways.
| The-Alpis chapter 38 . 5/12/2011
Just a note. Is Connor Spiro? You mentioned that name twice or so.
Pls update soon. This is intriguing.
| mimi 2112 chapter 38 . 4/29/2011
First of all I hope you had a lovely easter weekend and secondly I AM THE 20TH PERSON TO REVIEW MWHAHAHAHAHA! hehe i'm so happy _, ok now my favourite part, REVIEWING! my world has just been spun. Yet again we find out how messed up Zareck's childhood is, no wonder he has isolated himself. OH but i gushed over that kissing scene,DAMN *sexy smirk*
OH AND I HOPE BLACK MOON DOESN'T FINISH ANYTIME SOON, I'LL BE SO SAD. BUT I KNOW EVERY STORY HAS TO END.
| mimi 2112 chapter 37 . 4/15/2011
Oh! They are so adorable and perfect together. I love the fact that you didn't make Leah really prissy and weak (definite brownie points) because I don't think I'd be able to read this story if you did. This chapter was really good coz it was written in Zareck's point of view and we got to know how he felt about Leah. Excellent chapter and story!
p.s. I'm waitin for a steamy chapter *wink*
| mimi 2112 chapter 36 . 4/9/2011
OMG I love Zareck and Leah together they're so exciting and they're perfect for each other, she's the light to his darkness, it's so sweet. I have absolutely fallen in love with this story and am on edge of what is going to happen in the next chapter. I hope Zareck and Leah get together and stay together.
| LadyFelton1994 chapter 36 . 4/8/2011
I am amaze of how yu have come up with names how do yu do that it's interesting I really love took me two days to finish and i really like it please update soon
| TiyaMeya chapter 36 . 4/7/2011
Like four chapters ago I was like when is she gonna admit she likes Zareck?
Anywho, I've noticed that your writing has really gotten better as you write each chapter.
I really enjoy reading this story.
I kept telling myself I should review at some point and this being chapter 36, i think this review is past due.
I can't wait for the next chapter.
| xofallenangelxx chapter 35 . 3/31/2011
Awesome update soon!