Oh. I have a feeling that things are heating up for Aurelia. Good plot-building. Nice dramatic dream sequence, too. I think it was very apt of you to put that in italics, and the symbolism of the sharks is very appropriate. Aurelia's reaction to the throne room may be just a little strange, because she must have seen it many, many times before in equal glory. But that's just me. Anyway, great job as usual.

Aha! You updated! Now I get a chance to review again, as agreed. 8D

1. Nice nomenclature. The names (Elic, Nymira, Tyden etc.) sound exotic enough to be from a Fantasy world, but they are also phonetically believable. I could imagine these people as coming from a common culture.

2. In this context, I think "lateness" is a better word than "belatedness". Not entirely sure, though. Check a dictionary?

3. "I see silence as a disease when it comes to Tyden and I. Once it starts, it spreads. To the point where I feel sick inside, my stomach in knots and my brain fumbles for something to say." Beautiful, beautiful sentence.

Ta for now!

Opening:

It is pretty standard, but the upcoming lines can make it more interesting. You can try editing the first lines. The castle is under attack - that is okay - but what is happening? Are there trebuchets lugging stones or archers..

Scenes and dialogue: First off, I would suggest you separate the dialogues from the paragraph. It will add clarity to the situation, as many things are happening all at a time. Moreover, you could have added description to the death of the queen. It is well written, but does not make the reader feel the emotions of Aurelia.

Characters and Relationships:

I understand that this is the prologue so there are not many descriptions, but overall, Aurelia did seem to be good. her concern for her mother, her worry etc were touching. You could have elucidated on her feelings. But I hope that will be done in the upcoming chapters. Aurelia and her mother's relationship too was good.

Writing and Grammar:

The story constantly switches tenses. You galvinate between the past and the present. You should stick to one tense. There are some sentences and phrases I noticed:

-The thick of smoke burns my eyes- It should either be 'thick smoke' or some other noun like 'the thick curtain of smoke' (I am just giving an example in the second case.)

-The look exchanged between myself and him, was one that made my entire body quake with worry. : This sentence does not come off right. Try rephrasing it as : The look exchanged between us made my body tremble with worry.

Using quake was a nice touch, but for some unknown reason I do not feel at ease with it. (So now that is upto you.)

There are mistakes with the tenses, but I will not go on with them here. You can easily find them out by going over the chapter once again.

Pace and techniques:

The pace was good. I liked the overall confusion you created, bit it failed to deliver Aurelia in a manner of clarity. But I like the plot and the characters.

Enjoyment:

It was okay in terms of enjoyment. I do not feel that i must go on reading this, but it is mainly due to the problem with tenses.

Ending:

The last line was a nice touch which showed her authority.

...time.. Not now..

-Edit: remember that your ellipses need to come in groups of three "..." you do it some times, but not all the time, so remember to stay consistent to be grammatically correct.

I really liked the way that you started this, you brought the reader right in at the last possible moment where this story could begin, and it proved to be a very exciting beginning. I also liked your dialogue and found it very realistic as far as the discourse, like using "mama" for mother and everything, though simple it added a lot. The writing style was very clean and easy to follow, and the sentence structure was well written. Nice twist that Aurelia becomes the queen, I'd be interested to read further and find out what happens! You've definitley set yourself up for having a wonderfully strong lead!

Hello hello. This chapter had another interesting twist, which I suppose gets the main plot rolling. You write formal dialogue pretty convincingly, which I really admire. And there was something I found rather interesting - Eggs, bacon, sausage, and toast? Unusually common fare for one of royalty. I would love to know if there's anything behind that.

You're pretty good at creating a heavy mood. I like how this chapter deals with the aftermath (the funeral) rather than skipping on to Aurelia's rule. Things like this, as you aptly imply in the title, are a large and emotional part the grieving process. Some possible budding romance is also a good thing. _

I really like the idea of this. The action in the prologue is a definite hook and piques my curiosity, as it is wont to.

However, there are a lot of minor grammatical errors. These are just a few:

Some word use is strange. Like: '"Where is she?" I ask, brows furrow as I stop a passing guard leading a group outside the castle doors.' Maybe it would sound better as: '"Where is she?" I ask, my brows furrowing as I stopped a passing guard who was leading a group outside the castle doors.' It's just a suggestion, because what you have sounds a little awkward.

'The castles walls shake, sending a dust cloud pillowing through the area.' The 's' in castles should be a possessive: The castle's walls shake.

You jumble together the characters' speech. When Aurelia is talking, the guard's words should start a new paragraph. Same for when her mom is talking; what Aurelia says shouldn't be in the same paragraph.

So it's an interesting start, but I think you should probably get a beta and also, make the dialogue a little less dry. It's an emotional moment - her mom is dying - but your writing seems a little mechanical and apathetic. You could spice up your descriptions. Describe the people's fear so the reader feels a small spike of it too, make us tear up and mourn with your character as her mom takes a dying breath, etc.

As prologues go, this is not bad at all. I like that you started with some nice, pounding action, which really grabs the attention and makes the readers want to know more. However, you could do better describing the chaos of the scene - use some nice, dramatic images to fire up the mood, instead of just stating stuff.