Reviews for Meg and Claire
Abbytjie chapter 1 . 7/9/2012
It's mean of me to criticize the first sentence, but "The wind brushed through the trees and a single leaf fell and landed to make ripples in the still water." has three ands, and it's generally a good rule to never use more than two ands in one sentence, since it makes it seem too long.
The images of the coolness of the water and the way it surrounds her are amazing, but a little overused.
The characters are funny, sweet and really very likeable.
Guest chapter 1 . 7/9/2012
I know it's mean of me to critisize the first sentence but "The wind brushed through the trees and a single leaf fell and landed to make ripples in the still water." has three ands, it's generally a good rule to stick to to never use three ands in one sentence, since it makes the sentence seem too long.
There is a bit of unnecessary repitition, especially when she describes the water. The coolness of the water and the image of it folding around her are both great, but they're a little overused.
Anyways, I like the characters of both sisters. There are some funny bits and a really sweet litlle bit at the end that I adore.
tindulce chapter 1 . 6/26/2010
I like this story. The way you write is very interesting. Keep it up. :)
MysticGypsyGirl chapter 2 . 5/6/2010
Another great, very cute, short chapter. I love the story and the way the two sister interact, but if I were you I’d develop the characters and plot a little bit more. If you added those two things, this story could be even more amazing! Keep up the good work!
MysticGypsyGirl chapter 1 . 5/6/2010
Aw, how cute! I always wanted a cute little sister like Claire! The way you wrote this story was perfect. In just 433 words you managed to describe a beautiful scene and develop two very likable characters. Please continue this story further; it has a lot of potential!
upupandaway chapter 1 . 4/30/2010
This is really good, you should really continue because you i really want to read more. I just discovered your suff but i think that its really good. You're a really good writer :)
RenRen Eli chapter 1 . 4/25/2010
CONTINUE! UPDATE! YEY!

I like your writing. No visible grammar mistakes. I like you.