Very interesting story you've got here :) I'm anxious to know what happens next.

One thing I may say though, is that I've noticed a very common writer's mistake - getting ahead of yourself. Don't take it the wrong way, because it only sounds much worse than it actually is. As a fellow writer, I too find myself doing this. Sometimes while you're writing, you get so into that you become overexcited. Because you (the author) know what you want to get across, you sometimes forget that the reader has no idea what you're thinking, so to them, your sentences might appear a bit confusing and rapid without smooth transitions. In other words, slow down and remember that reader usually needs more explanation and/or detail to follow along on the same page as you(but not too much. otherwise, they get bored).

I hope this helps. Update soon :)

AH!

I love this so far!

It's really interesting!

Please update soon!