Reviews for Pale
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 6/19/2010
Review Marathon (link in my profile).

I love the alliteration in this piece. It's almost a bit like a tongue-twister with so many ps in such a sort space. However, the phrasing seemed a bit off. When I read it out loud it sounded awkward. Mostly the first line I think. Or maybe it's because the sentence isn't really a sentence? I did like the last line though. It was such an interesting similie. It definitely forced me to think about how a dress could work like a war. It's an interesting description.
Isca chapter 1 . 5/2/2010
"Works like a war for you." Brilliant. This reminded me of Marlowe: "the face that launched a thousand ships." The woman in the "pink sundress" sounds like a modern-day version of Helen of Troy. :)
Black Sparrow chapter 1 . 4/27/2010
Well written :)
nickyO chapter 1 . 4/26/2010
Last line is very smart.
The Immoralist chapter 1 . 4/25/2010
this is, pretty.
Princess-anna57 chapter 1 . 4/25/2010
Haha interesting haiku, really thought provoking! Well done. Keep at it!

Anna _