|Reviews for All Aboard the Leviathan!|
| AvidWriter-92 chapter 2 . 8/16/2010
I thought that this chapter was so sad, especially towards the end. :'( Poor Claude! :(
On another note, I really enjoyed reading the interactions between Jet and Rissa. :) They work so well with each other, and I like the pestering relationship that they have. Lol.
The whole thing with Claude was really unexpected. I thought that he was a mistake, but then as I continued reading, i realized that he definitely wasn't. lol.
So, is he a demon after all? He seems like he switches between a serial killer and a little boy. He seems very human, to me. So, I was just wondering if he was a demon, or if he was like a possessed human, or something along those lines... xP
I thought that the last scene between Rissa and Jet was touching. :D I do really hope that they end up together. :P That would be so cute. :D
Anyway, I digress. This was a great chapter, and I can't wait for the next one! This story is also one of my favorites. :D
~Avid, via the RH/Gossip. :)
| AvidWriter-92 chapter 1 . 8/16/2010
Hey, again, DarkHawk. :)
I thought that this was a unique idea. :) The characters are also very interesting to me, and I like the idea of a train leading to the Underworld, instead of something else. I've never heard of it quite that way before, so it was cool to read about it. :)
Something tells me by the way that Jet was dissappointed, that he just might like Rissa. :D That would be cute, if they did turn out to be a couple, even though he only has one year left. Just a thought, and maybe I'm reading too far into it. Lol. That's the die-hard romantic in me. :)
Anyways, this was a great first chapter I thought. Everything flowed nicely, and the descriptions and characters and dialogue were all balanced between each other nicely. :)
Good job! :D
~Avid, via the Roadhouse/Gossip Forum. :)
| Old xRayneWolfx account chapter 2 . 8/15/2010
Yay a new chapter )such action inside the awesome demonic train! I feel so sorry for little boy / such power at such a young age.. what a burden..
Anyway I hope you update this soon. I wanna read more of this see you soon
| Kobra Kid chapter 1 . 8/15/2010
I really like Rissa. She's smart, brave and kick ass! xD. I really enjoyed reading the interaction between her & Jet, who seems to be one awesome dude with his luminous white hair, blood colored eyes & not-so-bright personality. :)
I thought that the whole thing about Leviathan, the sentences & demons was rather creative & original, so great job with that! :D.
This was a great first chapter. It showed an average day on the Leviathan, gave insight to the characters, and left us off thinking what's gonna happen next.
-Payback via Ace Of Spades? Thanks :)
| Lillian Dooley chapter 2 . 8/15/2010
Hello again. I can't tell you how excited I was to see that you finally added another chapter. I really like this chapter, but I'm getting a romance vibe here, and I was really hoping not to. If that's your plan, continue, but I am rather tired of unexpected romance. *sighs* You can't change people's minds. I just wish that romance was more of a background thing, like that show Avatar: The Last Airbender. It's clear that several characters like each other, but learning the elements is first and foremost. Just venting, sorry. But I would rather not read about romance if I can help it. Hopefully, your plan is fantasy, not love.
I just want to say that keeping what gates do what a mystery is starting to bug me. I can handle it for a bit longer, but I would suggest cutting the hazy descriptions ASAP. If you keep readers waiting too long, the outcome will not be good.
I really like this story, but I missed the entertaining factor that was in the first chapter. It had this essence to it that made me happy and upbeat for long after.. The effect made the story almost ironic. In a good way, of course. I like how the whole idea is a bit depressing, but you made it an enjoyable chapter. That aura is missing a bit in this chapter. I assume you have been working on the other story as well, so that may contribute to it, but I still liked this chapter. KEEP WRITING!
| Skylark1 chapter 2 . 8/15/2010
Very nice! I like the way you're writing this in short, episodic formats, as opposed to the usual continuous plot. In my opinion, it works very well, and I could definitely see this being used as a short TV series! (Maybe you could try submitting it to a producer one day!)
I also love the subject matter. A demonic train - how refreshing and original! I love all the characters, and especially the fact that you didn't succumb to the temptation to make the child demon turn out to be innocent. (Evil children are much more interesting!) :P
Good job, and I'd like to read more!
| Old xRayneWolfx account chapter 1 . 7/10/2010
I hope you update this soon because this was a interesting story. Readers like myself rarely read about demonic trains o.o
| sweetdreamsfairy chapter 1 . 6/24/2010
this is a really interesting story and i really hope you dont scrap it. i wanna read more :)
| Lillian Dooley chapter 1 . 4/29/2010
Never scrap any of your stories, no matter how dumb. I still have a story about a "horse princess" from when I was eight. I'll never be able to do anything with it, but it will certainly remain of sentimental value. Also, if this story doesn't go well, you can always rewrite it. Believe it or not, my best story (Flawless, by the way) is a revision of an old story (Witch Princess, bad title, I know) and even older ones. I have never scrapped one. It is quite amusing to go back and read what crap I wrote a year ago.
Anyway, back to the subject (I do that a lot in my stories) (There I go again). The story is really clever and creative. You just need to work on your sentence structure, grammar, and some dictations of your ideas. Some of the stuff is worded weird. For example:
I mean it literally. You can't see it, but there is a chain around my ankle that changes its length, but never is long enough so I can leave the Leviathan.
I know exactly what you mean, but it isn't dictaed well. I have that same problem. Sometimes you just have to write it that way until further notice.
My computer is acting up. I have to end this review early. Good luck!
| Scarlet Tango chapter 1 . 4/26/2010
I really like the idea behind this story. I especially like Jet and Rissa's relationship. I'd like to know what happens next