|Reviews for Bread with pouched egg|
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 5/16/2010
Review Marathon this weekend! (link in my profile)
So, I'm going to start at the end. I really loved the last stanza. I think that similie is unique, but pretty straightforward and it makes the reader wonder why the author would say that about themselves.
The first stanza I did not like so much. I found myself getting lost in the comparisons. I think part of it was because you went from measuring water to waiting for it to boil (I think anyway) without clearly transitioning between the two. I liked the descriptions and I thought your word choices were really great. The part about the yawn was especially good, but I just found it hard to follow and connect all the different comparisons. But, that may just be me.
| Isca chapter 1 . 5/2/2010
"And the kitchen walls smelling like coffee." I really like this line; it reminds me that everyone's house 'smells' differently (which is fascinating in and of itself).
"Slowly melting into the carpet." That sounds like me on a hot summer day. :P
"Before you touch me, it's best if you do the same." What a brilliant final line!
| limpwrist chapter 1 . 4/30/2010
This is beautiful. Wish I could think of something more to say
| Saurosuchus chapter 1 . 4/29/2010
I especially liked the ending part. You have a very dignified, yet realistic and relateable voice. Very nice job.
| Black Sparrow chapter 1 . 4/29/2010
Beautiful words :) Brilliant mind for poetry. Love it.
| YasuRan chapter 1 . 4/28/2010
*worships her awesomeness*