|Reviews for A Good Day for the End of the World|
| Souffle Girl chapter 1 . 5/21/2011
Strange how a story about the Four Horsemen could be so charming! It reminds me of Good Omens, which judging by the fact that you seem to be a Pratchett/Gaiman fan, I'm sure you've read. (If not, then go read it!)
But this review is about your story, not someone else's, haha. I love your writing style! From what I've seen of your work, you have a wonderful sense of humor, and manage to work it in very subtly in your work. The effect is great!
| il mio amore chapter 1 . 10/13/2010
Trés interesante. I really like how you set up this story! You did a really good job telling the story you were trying to tell without outright saying "OMG FOUR HORSEMEN APOCALYPSE LOLOL."
The random card game was cute, but I'm not too sure how it adds to the overall theme; it seemed to just make the story longer. Mayhaps if you had started with them playing cards while waiting for Famine's equivalent?
But overall, nice job!
| Beenz chapter 1 . 7/29/2010
Ghads, I felt like doing a face-palm when I got to the end of this; Can't believe I didn't figure their identities out sooner!
I'm guessing Alice is War, Katie is Death, Regis is Famine and Brandon is Pestilence? I like how their roles are reflected on the people around them, like when the brawl starts due to Alice's anger.
"... where waited three horses, and a pony that was somehow more eerie than adorable despite the ribbons in its mane." - This made me laugh, definitely my favourite line!
Thanks for the good read : )
| naito-kun chapter 1 . 7/14/2010
four horsemen? wait, why does that sound familiar... and omg just as i finished reading and clicked review i heard an ear splitting shriek from who knows where. eugh scary. anyway i like your humour ((:
| Victoria7401 chapter 1 . 6/24/2010
Very enjoyable read. I too didn't realize Katie was a child until late in the story. The sentence:
The wind blew appropriately ominously, whipping the dust and leaves into small-scale hurricanes and rolling small stones over the cliff face in what poets of later years – if, of course, there had been later years – would have called foreshadowing. The sea was dark grey and choppy, and the sky brooded with all the intensity of a sky that, sensing that the end is nigh, is damn well going to put on a good show before it goes.
It is clunky, but I know you are setting the scene and I see where you are going, I think if you'd like to adjust that sentence then it would only enhance a wonderful story.
| seredemia chapter 1 . 5/17/2010
I love your witty story title by the way! The way you write your senteces is nice because it's sophisticated, yet it doesn't dump a whole load of unnecessary details in it. I also like how all her you characters had personalities. They weren't flat, and even by reading only one chapter, I can imagine them as real people (if you know what I mean). I think I like Katie best, she seems really cheerful and happy go lucky _
| lianoid chapter 1 . 5/11/2010
I really, really like this! Well, all of your work is impressive, but this one was particularly charming. Excellent use of the prompt as well. Your characters are odd yet loveable all the same. It’s a shame this is only a one-shot; it would be interesting to find out more about these “people”. Nonetheless, you delivered a wonderful piece for the May WCC, and I for one thoroughly enjoyed it. I especially like how eerie and mysterious everything is; it gives it a whole other level of wonder. Best of luck in the WCC.
| lookingwest chapter 1 . 5/9/2010
Wonderful opening line, I like it because it's so bold and obviously brings a lot of different connotations with it. Also, I like that you carry it as a reoccurring theme, that was cool and provided me something else to focus on as the central idea besides the prompt.
Or, indeed, nothing to worry about at all.
-Edit: would omit 'at all' if you ever come back for edits!
I like your character's dialogue and interaction. There wasn't as far as my general reading, a huge climax to this or a point of truth, which might be the only thing I feared it lacked, but again, your characters and everything were believable for me. And the banter of their dialogue was fun, Brandon had some good cut ins. The card game was unique, I wouldn't have thought that to come from the prompt or anything so I liked where you took it. Good luck in WCC!
| Sercus Kaynine chapter 1 . 5/9/2010
Haha, I loved the somber yet humorous mood. Your choice of description and writing style really brought out the character of the piece. Very charming. Loved it!
Good job and good luck in WCC!
| Melody-kun chapter 1 . 5/8/2010
I love the characterization, very easy to distinquish between characters! Your hook is absolutly enchancing, which is sure to win you some readers. Your descriptions provide vivid pictures, and the words you chose are always 'just' right. I really don't have much critism, but I must say, this looks like it has a good chance of becoming a novel.
| Daggerhart chapter 1 . 5/7/2010
'The wind blew appropriately ominously, whipping the dust and leaves into small-scale hurricanes and rolling small stones over the cliff face in what poets of later years – if, of course, there had been later years – would have called foreshadowing.'
This was a clever line.
'This from Brandon' I think you meant 'This was from Brandon'. I had a to read that three times since it was confusing.
'expansive hand expansively' this sounds really awkward. When I think of expansive, I think of maybe a large area or a place for storage, not someone's... hand, LOL. Plus, to make matters worse, you used the word expansive in the same line again, making the description feel awfully repetitive.
'with a glare that would have frozen lava'
I love this description.
'commented Regis, licking his great fingers' I don't understand what you're trying to convey there.
The ending was great. I understood clearly what you were alluding to.
Overall, this was a good, descriptive read. Your characters and wording had this otherworldly charm and wittiness to them. Good job.
| Sparkling Sploosh chapter 1 . 5/7/2010
Very interesting concept, and it would be neat to see it continued.
The characters seemed to have been developed very nicely, and despite having their own personality traits they all seem at ease for the end of the world. They also seem like the only ones who know it's going to be the end of the world; I found that interesting.
I also liked your descriptions. With them you could picture everything that was going on, but the flow was still really good.
| deefective chapter 1 . 5/7/2010
Hmm, well I liked the beginning a lot because you had a good hook to start with. It made me want to read on and the following paragraph did as well. There was a bit of a sarcastic undertone to it, which I really liked because I think you pulled it off well. Overall, it was a nicely formulated story with some interesting concepts and original delivery. I'm impressed. Nicely done.
Good luck in WCC!
| ayizyu chapter 1 . 5/6/2010
Oh my gosh. just wow. This is an amazing story, I actually started laughing out loud while I read.
There's just so much I love that it would take forever to point out everything! So instead, i'm going to focus on what I didn't really like or understand. Starting from the top...
I think there might be too many commas in this line :"she snapped, at last, as a couple at a nearby table, picking up on the tension in the air, broke into a loud argument." It doesn't look right or read right to me.
I think you should have pointed out the face that Katie is a child sooner. I was very confused when you introduced the nanny, very disjoined, and it kind of took me away from the story in my confusion.
It wasn't until the bit about the flower in the vase that i realized for the first time that there was actually something going on behind them (the bar fight.) I think you aught to make that more clear. Or maybe you wrote it like that because wanted them to seem very detached from their surroundings, in which case its understandable.
Does the world actually end? I was really confused about that. I was expecting it to happen at the end, but the ending came and went with no final apocalypse, just the death of a bird and the withering of some flowers. I must say, I was pretty disappointed.
Okay, so I lied about only talking about what I disliked... I love the title/opening sentence so much, and the first paragraph just sets the setting so well!
In addition, i loved all the characters, their descriptions, and the dialogue.
| QueenLunaris chapter 1 . 5/6/2010
Ohmigerard! Dat iz lyk suck a pre sotry! U did nto rite deff azz an goff! An noo1 lizenet too My Chem lyk dey totes wud an dey would go to a Kontsert. An wai are dey nto spkeang goff? Dey soudn lyke prepz!1
I lyk Bradnod izz he lyk, a vamyr?1!1 Cuz he izz varry goffick sondin an i tink dat me mite totes be a vampyr. Dat wud be tota kawaii. Lyke Gerard Way iz a vampyr btu im gona mary hmi so handzz of.
Ok, so was that a bad but well-reasoned enough review for you? 'Cause I thought I particularly had the good reasoning bit down pat. :-P
Still think it's an awesome story! I mean sotry :-)