Reviews for The Fall of Destiny |
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![]() ![]() A lovely little story that deserves far more reviews than it currently has. Among the poorly-written and the dialogue-ridden works, this is truly a refreshing bit of work with proper grammar, a clear understanding of paragraph usage and an elegant presentation of detail. I truly enjoyed Gaahn and Sathra's adventures, and while, like most works, the story still has room for improvement (a few places seemed like they were going to lead to something more but didn't pan out); it is quite pleasing as is. Good work! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Aw it ended, but I loved it, and now I can't wait for the sequel of Heretics with their daughter Yay! lol Keep writing awesome stories. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Girlie you need to hurry! i want to read more soon! |
![]() ![]() ![]() hey i love rise of heretics and i also like this one so far! |
![]() ![]() ![]() I'm so sorry I couldn't get to this on time! There was only one error I saw: "... and you callously slain her with Lady Berusha" Slain should be slayed. Their past is so tragic : It still makes me sad to see! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Thanks for writing P Is a bit sad Ganh and Sathra can be together in this story D I really like this story. Keep writing! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Yay that that bastard is no longer king but I still sad that Gahn and Sathra can't marry or be together ;.; It's not fair, I want them to be happy with each other. Well, I hope to read the next chapter soon |
![]() ![]() ![]() Yay Legion appeared! I like him lol but I also love Puck XDD I can't wait for the next chapter and so happy Caidal's gone and Sevi too lololol SUFFER! XD O I can't wait to see what happens next. |
![]() ![]() ![]() OH MY GAWD! NO! NO! NO! No Cliffhanger! Must know what happens next! . I must know! Please update soon! *.* |
![]() ![]() ![]() Aw I wanted them to have the High Priest's blessing...Uh oh Servi...KILL HIM! lol j/k I can't wait for the next chapter it's really getting interesting. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Courtesy of the Roadhouse [The enemy kingdom often captured me since I'd travel around Evergreen.] This sentence sounds a bit awkward. [Once long ago, two brothers fought for the throne and it ended with one winning and the other leaving to create a new kingdom. Ever since then the country was split into two and warred against one another in an attempt to unify the country again.] Wow, that's horrible. If they had created two kingdoms why not just do that from the beginning, lol. [ I intended to join the army so I could fulfill my destiny and end the war.] I wonder how him joining the army will end the war. ["Want some?" she eventually asked me as she held out a bad of candy.] 'bad' should be 'bag'. Hmm...This chapter had a very interesting beginning. I like how you began it with telling how he was taken for ransom but the people had the wrong info on him, lol. It seems weird that there would be two kingdoms in one place, but I think that adds a nice change to other stories where places are waring. It almost sucks that the main character has to go through so much trouble when he, himself doesn't agree with his father's rules of reign, and would like to see them different. It was nice to have it that the little girl had hidden a key in the bag of candy which shows that she's not as innocent as he thought she was. Also the part with her and her brother was really cute. I wonder how them being nuetral towards the war is going to effect everything. There are a few times that you changed tenses and some sentences that could be revised, but other than that this chapter is very nice and I look forward to reading more of it. W-P |
![]() ![]() ![]() OMG I am begging that the High Priest gives them his blessing, but...Something bad is going to happen isn't? Something bad always happens when things are starting to look good, Dear God what is it? I must know . Update soon...Please *.* |
![]() ![]() ![]() That was good, sort of funny except the part when he almost got his foot blown off, that seems painful. *laughs* OMG the dad, Sathren, cracks me up I love him! lol XXDD I can't wait for the next chapter |
![]() ![]() ![]() I liked it, it was nice love the air of mystery behind the "enemy" slowly but surely the puzzle pieces are coming together, and of course Sabertooth is as lovable as ever. I'm really curious now of a confrontation between Gahn and Sathra's father to "talk". I can't wait for the next chapter |
![]() ![]() ![]() This was a good chapter, it's nice to finally learn a bit more about Puck. Thanks! |