|Reviews for War's Fingerprint|
| lianoid chapter 1 . 11/28/2010
I enjoyed your use of punctuation in this piece because you used it had an interesting effect; had to pause at places I normally wouldn’t have paused at and I felt that created emphasis at certain spots. My favourite line is the second because I feel it was the strongest one and conveyed a great deal of emotion in so few words.
Review courtesy of The Review Game’s Review Marathon. For more info, visit the link on my profile.
| InkedSoul chapter 1 . 8/17/2010
Wow, this is a very powerful poem. The first line made me think of those ads on the television that beg people to donate money to save a poor child's life.
I agree with your beliefs a hundred percent. You only get to live one life and war messes up a ton of lives for many children who deserve a good childhood like everyone else. And none of the people in the war seem to question or take that into consideration, they just plunge themselves into mindless warfare until one side wins.
Question it; the what-if's are
Still there, unanswered.
So why should we even
Try to answer them?
I think we should try to answer them because it would tell us a lot about the reason we go to war and might even stop it. If people actually took the time to care that is. Sending kids into war also is another thing that I think is horrible, forcing chilren to see all the bloodshed at such a young age is just...dispicable, cruel...I can't even find a good enough word for it.
Anyway, loved this poem and the fact that you freely spoke your beliefs, not caring about anyone elses opinion. Lucky for you, I totally agree. Great job with this.
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 1 . 8/17/2010
A strong poem, it flows quite well and leaves a strong impression on the mind; you can really picture the stare of the child.
The only suggestion I'd make is
'Actually look, though'
could maybe change to 'Really look'? I don't know, actually seems a bit awkward to me. But I'm not a poet by any means so feel free to discount that suggestion :P
| thefluffmysters chapter 1 . 8/17/2010
Wow this poem was powerful. I agree, war sucks, that's just how it is. Big governments shouldn't try so hard to get power, it all comes down to greed doesn't it? Every war. Theres always something that leaders want, they let their wants consume them until its destroyed them. And its not fair to people. Not to children, not to families. Like the child in this poem, her childhood destroyed by war.
Its not fair for anyone really.
This was a great poem, your a really good writer! ]
Glad I read it! Thanks for writing it!
| Katerzzz chapter 1 . 8/17/2010
Wow. Powerful and thought provoking.
I never usually read poems, they don't do it for me, but this is really moving. The fact that you used a child as the protagonist, probably made it even more hard-hitting, I think everybody expects adults to be involved in war, but even though there are children also caught up, we try not to think about it because thoughts, more often than not, mirror reality. I really liked it, I can't crititque on structure or things like that cos I SUCK at writing poems, and structure in general, so it isn't my forte. Really good poem and I like that you transfer your beliefs into your writing. And also your absolute concrete will that they will not be changed. I think if I ever met you, we could have a good ol' conversation about many philosophical topics :)
Lots of love,
P.S: Repay back by either reviewing Jack's London, or the Angel Waiting At Hell's Gate, though if you don't wish to review either because of your beliefs, The Promise of a Lifetime would also be appreciated :)
| Creeping Collarbones chapter 1 . 6/15/2010
You made some good points. The flow was nice too. I like that the ending was a questioned. Powerful.
But again I have to say about the line breaks, but I explained that in my last review. (:
| Vroooommmmmm chapter 1 . 6/8/2010
awesome...ye hath portrayed the feelings well...fast paced...truly a war's fingerprint nice title that..
seriously a very good poem..one of your best[:)]
| Hopeless Fantasy chapter 1 . 6/8/2010
| esurio08 chapter 1 . 6/8/2010
I liked this poem mostly because like you, I'm anti-war. I also liked how it read, except for this line,
"Unneeded power struggle."
I liked the message but I thought that line had too many syllables that it sort of ruined the rhythm of the poem.
Anyway, my favorite lines were the first 5, I thought that there were the most powerful lines in this poem. :)
| Broken Bird chapter 1 . 5/26/2010
I loved this. I know exactly what you mean, because one of the greatest trajedies is when adults take away someones childhood, or makes a child see things like an adult. It's just... Sad.
I loved this poem.
| William G. Thorne chapter 1 . 5/10/2010
war as we know it today I feel is unnatural, yet it is instinct for people to fight. I do agree that too many innocents are casualities in such wars, that should be incentive enough for people to stop.