Reviews for Tell Me about Heaven
kapowie chapter 15 . 8/1/2010
This was great! I loved the rhythm of it. It mimicked the playful panic of hide and seek. You manipulate things so well. How do you do that?
kapowie chapter 14 . 8/1/2010
LOVED the choppiness of this. It completely went along with the feeling of the alarm always going off and how it jolts you awake, and sleep is always like...lulling in and out. I always try to write that feeling, but it never works quite the way I want it to. Lovely job!
kapowie chapter 13 . 8/1/2010
Ah, I see. Maybe I don't read poetry enough or maybe I'm completely daft, but I love that I have to read your things a few times before I completely understand it. I think that's so important for poems. I couldn't figure out who the boy was, but then I realized the contrast between him and the friend who really cared - he kind of represented all the little things people do that stick with you, maybe if you feel you don't deserve them or something, you know? That's what I thought, at least.
kapowie chapter 12 . 8/1/2010
This one scared me. Especially the "you're allowed" line. That says so much. And that this whole thing is called Sic was also so awesome. It fits so well, and like EVERYTHING you do, adds so much more to the piece.
kapowie chapter 11 . 8/1/2010
I'M BACK! And I AM reviewing every single one. If you didn't know.

At first, I thought the holy's at the end just went with the religious aspect of the poem, but then when I thought about it more, I kind of felt like they were more like "holy crap." Like...an expression of being so completely overwhelmed at being alone, and that really added so much more depth to this! I loved that! Whether you meant that or not, I loved it.
kapowie chapter 10 . 7/13/2010
So unbelievably relatable. I know so well the feelings of being insecure and having people tell you you're okay or pretty or nice or kind, but you just can't believe them. All of your stuff is so relatable, even if it's not directly.

And I just love all your little artistic touches. The X's and the punctuation, and the use of M instead of a name. It's so intriguing. Everything is just so pretty. I don't really read much poetry, but I'm so glad I'm reading yours!
kapowie chapter 9 . 7/13/2010
This was really comforting. I'm not religious, like I said before, but the whole idea of religion is very comforting to me, and I got a very nice, warm feeling from this. And I loved the "know what?" at the beginning. Again, another great insight to the narrator. It's like he or she has struggled a lot with these ideas, and has finally made up his or her mind, thrown everyone else's words and influences away and decided to do what he or she wants to do. I like that aspect a lot! And I'm reading the poem without that first line, and it changes a lot without it. It really sets the mood, and says so much!

I LOVE THESE. I'm sure you can tell by now!
kapowie chapter 8 . 7/13/2010
The end bit. With the words going down the page like that. IT'S SKINNY! It's a skinny verse! Perfect. So creative. Amazing.

And I love the titles of these! They really make you think a lot.

Gah. I want to know so much more about all of these characters! Gr.
kapowie chapter 7 . 7/13/2010
Great, once again! This one made me smile and laugh. Totally and unbelievably relatable. And again, so well placed. The way these all contrast with each other is so great.

I'm like, in love with you now.

:D
kapowie chapter 6 . 7/13/2010
Hahah, wow, I'm sure you're sick of me by now, but I can't stop reading!

This was very, very interesting. You have such great ideas. A griddle in a duffle bag. Who comes up with that? It's amazing! It's so creative, and so unexpected! And then the dress bit! And the (Did you notice?) line. That is such a nice touch. I'm so interested by all these characters and their stories. These are very intriguing pieces. I feel like you could take them into my old AP English class and do some hard-core analysis.
kapowie chapter 5 . 7/13/2010
It smells like cold

That is simply perfect. I know exactly what you mean there! I think that all the time, "It smells like cold." It has such a distinctive smell, doesn't it?

And I loved the use of the periods only after the three words. And at the end, too! Very well placed. It gives a great feeling of finality (is that a word? YES IT IS. thank you online dictionary.)

Great, great job, as usual! I realyy like these.
kapowie chapter 4 . 7/13/2010
Hm, I wonder who D is? I really liked how you did that. It was a very nice touch. And I love how you fit so many ideas into a small little collection of words. I don't know much about religion, but I think about all of this sometimes too! I'm not sure what I believe, but I do want to believe that God is forgiving that way. This was very easy to relate to, even though I'm not religious, really. Honestly, I don't know how you do this. All of these are so good!
kapowie chapter 3 . 7/13/2010
Hahahaha, that was so cute and great! It's definitely well-placed, too, something light and funny after something quite dark. And the rhymes are so witty, too! "Quick on lips, now fat on hips." That's so clever. It reminds me of something Shel Silverstein-ish.

And again, I love how sharp and simple and well-crafted your style is. It's very pleasing!
kapowie chapter 2 . 7/13/2010
Aww, that's so sad! But again, really beautiful. I love the simplicity of it. It's so brief and fleeting, but I learned so much about the characters it's talking about. And I love the use of the second person! I liked that in the other one, too. Here, it really brings out the accusatory nature of the piece, which adds a lot of emotion, I think.

Overall, so simple, and so beautiful!
kapowie chapter 1 . 7/13/2010
So I'm back, because I loved your other piece so much, and I am very, very glad I came back.

Wow. That is beautiful. Really. This is just so pretty! My favourite line had to be the "and variables in your head." I think that was so descriptive and simple and perfect. And it was unexpected, in a way. Just the picture of variables in a person's mind after picture hot cocoa and drinking it. It said a lot.

And I loved the breaks. They're so artistic and just...really, so beautiful! I don't know what else to say. This was really gorgeous and so artistically crafted. I really loved it!
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