|Reviews for America's Ignorance|
| Danielle chapter 1 . 9/25/2014
I would have given you a score of 6. there are a couple of grammar mistakes and the use of "I". You should never write in first person. Overall the essay is great!
| Nataliyah Fowler chapter 1 . 1/1/2014
I think this is great and it helped me to understand the prompt allot better than I did before. This does not deserve less than an 85%.
| cheryl chapter 1 . 11/7/2013
I think its a good essay; the score was fair too. You did a really nice last paragraph. Maybe more material was what you needed? Like say perhaps more analysis of specific issues?
| chris chapter 1 . 1/17/2013
i'm in ap english 3 right now and honestly you should be happy you got a 4. your ideas are correct but your execution of those ideas is poor. for instance, the 3rd paragraph, it seems pointless. it's not even worth having it in there considering 2/3 of it is a quote. also, you never stated your personal opinion.. agree, disagree, qualify. i have no idea where you stand in the essay.
| xLocKe chapter 1 . 5/13/2010
I'd first like to say that I'm in the AP class right now, and I'm ridiculously overjoyed that we finished with the AP test. Nice to see a fellow survivor; granted, the AP Langauge and Composition test is easier than some.
Anyway, getting to your essay, I don't think you deserve a 4, but nothing higher than a six. I think the main thing that you missed was a counter arguement. In this class, it's a big part of a lot of essays (except maybe the rhetorical analysis). Depending on the prompt (I'm guessing you were supposed to agree, disagree, or qualify Woodward's statement), you should also include not only things from the prompt, but also things that is applicable to the time. I know you mention present and past problems, but specifics are important.
Judging from your essay, I'd say that you agree with his statement and that America is indeed part of the problem. With this in mind, I think it is important that you say why people would disagree with your agreement. You could argue that it is the people and the leaders of the government that got cocky, not the people themselves. Then, perhaps you could argue that while the people support the government, the leaders are corrupt in the way that they twist their promises to get reelected.
Additionally, the last paragraph doesn't seem to give much closure to the topic. It is just a general, "this is the problem, and this is who's fault it is."
Overall, though, it was good. I like the tone; it was reprimanding, but not harsh. Your diction was good, and the use of rhetorical devices was stimulating.
Wishing you luck on the rest of the year,