please write some more. (:

This is a really good start I think. It was written well and I liked the banter between the boys and girls. Bretton's character appeals to me more than Tristan's, but that's probably because he's much more of a gentleman. You might want to mention maybe when this is taking place. Perhaps you could do it by one of the characters noticing a newspaper? It does seem to be taking place a couple hundred years ago, but I'm still not exactly sure what era. The girl Tristan saw at the end was intriguing, along with Tristan catching that fever after Molly kissed him. Overall, this was a good first chapter for this story. :) Keep it up!

I wonder whose that woman wiu brown hair? I'm guessing that was his mother.

I was cleaning my mail when I realized that I haven't read this! I really like this story! I hope you can update!

Just a quick note - cpr was only invented like last century or something, so you might want to adjust that scene

There seems to be an eror on FP.

If you got my previous review then tell me,If you didn't however.

Then I like your story and I admire it.

I hope you update soon.

And I have a question to ask you.

How did Tristian end up in the ocean drowning?

Wasn't he in his room where his faather has take him to lie down and rest after he tried to escape?

~Ash

Your story is so beautifull.

I admire it alot.

But I have a question:

how did Tristian end up in the ocean? wasin't he in his room where his father has taken him to?

~Ash

LUV IT!

I really love the story!

Especially this chapter, I really love it!

Hope you can update soon!

AH! Very nice chapter :D I realy want Molly and Tristan to get togehter or Bretton and Molly...Molly has to get together with ONE of them! And who IS this woman who Tristan sees? Ah, this is an addicting story!

I like how you started this. Your description about the market place was very clear and good. You didn't go into unnecessary detail that didn't make sense, so good job! I liked how the opening paragraph also told me about some boys, and their appearances. I thought that was a good effect...

I liked the relationship between Tristan and Bretton. Right from the start, you could tell that they are close friends. Hehe, they seem like your typical boys who flirt with every girl they see. Their interaction and dialogue with the girls made me smile. I love their personalities so far! Tristan stands out from Bretton, in my opinion... He seems to be the one that is more bold than the two of them... I like their friendship though. You did a great job on developing their characters.

Your writing is also good for the story. You don't use too many adverbs or descriptions that slow down the pace. I lvoe how you wrote the bit where Tristan and Molly were messing around in the cavern. I found it really fun to read. Do I sense romance..?

Anyway, overall, this was a good starting chapter! You introduced us well to the main characters, added a bit of humour and personality into it and all. Good start! Good luck on this!

AndHeavenfell from The Review Game and The Roadhouse ~

I really, really love this. Is that beautiful girl supposed to be the angel of death? It was very well written. Great job.

You shoul continue this one. It's amazing.

-Wabam.

One word; EPIC! This is amazing! I love Molly and Tristan but I also think Molly and Bretton would be cute together as well...PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE update soon!