Hi, miragex, here to return favor!

I found the story quite well-written, so please do forgive me for picking on trivial areas XD (After all those are what adds icing to the cake, right?)

At chapter 4, being a foreigner (and quite unfamiliar with the American culture, pardon me), I wasn't exactly sure if it was the competitiveness or violence you meant while mentioning USC and UCLA, so perhaps in future you can consider putting a footnote in such areas for the sake of the unknowledgeable (case in example: yours truly)?

Haha…Layne's rambling about the fluffy blue cow at ch5 really made me burst! Hmm, a nervous drunk, I sympathize with poor Ryan…and looking forward to operation: salvage dignity lolx

Overall an interesting piece. I'm interested to see where this goes and how the whole Mathews thing works out. Anyway, onto the real review.

One thing I liked about the story was that the main character has spunk. Layne's easy to relate to and seems to be a strong main character. However, there were some inconsistencies. Layne says in the story that she was home schooled until the 9th grade but has been receiving "Nicest Person" awards since the 7th grade. This kind of turned me off a bit, but maybe I missed something.

But, I encourage you to keep writing. Wish you nothing but the best.

~Sloshy

I'm not usually a big fan of teen stories, or romance for that matter, but I'm really enjoying your story! Lay as a character is just hilarious and adorable.

There's still that tendency to tangent unnecessarily though. The Tom and Jerry metaphor felt way to forced, and I had to read it a few times just to understand what you're saying there. You might want to tighten that part up. I also kind of feel like I'm missing something with the sudden turn from clothing descriptions to sci-fi. I don't really get why she suddenly decided to announce that she hated sci-fi, and it felt too random for me.

Other than that, this story is definitely living up to the promise of the first chapter! :)

I can't help but love Layne and her reaction to going to the prinicpal's office. Mr. Hawkins seems very cool for a principal, but any staff member that's enthusiastic and sticks up for their students, ends up coming off as at least slightly cool with the students. Maddox sounds like a total prick, but jade colored eyes sound nothing but hot. This is a great chapter, and I can't wait to see what happens at Green Beans, but I have a feeling Mathews will have something to do with it.

And I know I've been reading this all the way through, but has Mathews been spelled with one T this whole time? I never noticed heh.

It struck me as a little odd that you had the flash back in omniscient point of view. It felt like it should be in third person limited from Layne's POV because when I heard Ryan's perspective in that part I was just like what is this doing here.

Also the second flashback seemed kind of sudden. I would maybe explain it a little more. Its just like...wait...her mother died?

But all in all, another great chapter :)

I'm not usually a fan of teen stories (I feel too old these days) but you've got a really nice style, the dialogue is authentic sounding (to English ears) and the characters are well presented.

I personally liked it because the character is really chatty. I felt like I was in the story. hehe good work :)

Ooh, the plot thickens! And apparently, Ryan wasn't always a jerk. Hm...

One thing I love about this story is that it has great flow. In this chapter, just about everything felt really nice and natural.

The only thing I'm not sure about is how you beginning your flashbacks/memories by announcing what year it was. It kind of breaks up said flow. This is a style thing, so it's totally up to you, but maybe you could try embedding it into the story more?

Great story though. I'm definitely interested enough to read more!

I really enjoyed reading your story, and I loved Layne's character. It was hilarious when she smacked the books out of Ryan's hands when she got angry. You describe the characters really well and you have excellent story telling.

Going to read the next chapter now ;)

I actually had to smirk during the opening with Layne's Duck speech - more of the fact that the next line was "Don't look at me like that." Lo and Behold, I discovered I had been. It's a pleasant way of roping the reader in - suddenly he/she is involved in the story.

I also like how you portray the atmosphere of the geography lesson. You treat it in a way that I am quite positive many other students have done so as well, so we can all relate.

A minor suggestion - since you use both a narrative approach and a direct approach why not find a way to separate the two. For instance, when Layne speaks her mind use italics, and with the words that you emphasize either bold them or leave them without the italics

Through out the whole first chapter I got the impression that something must have happened between Layne and Mathews - reason being that her aggression on Anna's behalf was somewhat excessive, and then once again you place us in the scene. You left me feeling like on of her shocked/confused friends. What HAD she done?

I look forward to reading more. Keep up the good work.

Interesting first chapter! You've really done a nice job of sucking the reader in. I like the conversational tone of voice right from the start. It kind of feels like a close friend is just telling me about their day.

However, I'd like to point out is that you should be careful with that voice. For example, in the very opening scene, the ramble about ducks seemed a bit too off topic, and forced. It just didn't really feel like a natural train of thought, and if that continues throughout the story, it could get old.

But, that's just one or two sentences, and I really enjoyed the rest of the story! :) Great job.

Thanks for your review on Rogues and Princes, returning the favour now - I'll review as I read and point out any grammar, spelling or comments I have along the way.

"Stupid kid had anatidaephobia." - I googled anatidaephobia and couldn't stop laughing. Totally understand what you mean, Layne! That has got to be one of the most random fears I've ever heard (read) of!

"towards [their] Geography" - should be [our]

"with... [Rivers]" - lowercase R

"...at the end.["]" - typo; no quotation mark at the end of that line.

"Hey, in my defense, [I've] learned" - Should just be [I]

"homeschooling days!" I said." - exclamation mark generally calls for a stronger verb such as exclaim, protested, etc.

"Girl bumps into guy, falls on top of him, girl is on guy, and they apologize, and realize they're in love with each other." - But we all love it P - also, semi-colon rather than period before this.

"case[,] here" - no comma

"Those typical ones where everyone dry-humps on the dance floor." - Pfft. Great line! D

"[]More on that later, I'm getting ahead of myself." - feels like there should be a [but] at the beginning since she's cutting herself off.

"Or at all." - ? Seems unnecessary or lacking a few words.

"No Lay, [no] say anything" - I think you mean [don't]

"Tall, dark brown hair, brown eyes.." - typo

"He was seriously a nice guy." - bit repetitive, you already said that he was sweet two sentences earlier.

"four months, five today, as J never" - I think it would serve better as [four months - no, five today - as J never...]. It makes it seem more like she's correcting herself.

"So, Jack's parents died in a car crash when he was three, so his grandmom" - two [so's] in the one sentence reads a little oddly; perhaps replace the first one with [anyway]?

"so he can be excused for [fail] dog-naming" - should read "for [being a failure] at dog naming".

""No clue. You know J, he's never late. Probably had a major test last period.["]" - Missing quotation mark.

"the great Ryan Mathews standing. (Note sarcasm)." - instead of actually stating that she's using sarcasm why not just italicise [great]? Readers will get the message since she's explicitly stated how much she hates Mathews. It is better to show rather than tell.

"them [knowing a fair idea of] what happened between him and Annabelle." - should be either [having a fair idea of] or [knowing a great deal about]

"and I hope you weren't planning on settling in our differences." - Doesn't make sense...

"I took a few seconds to calm myself[]. In, out. In, out, In, out." - [and took a couple of deep, slow breaths] - if you don't add that in then the whole "in, out" thing ddoesn't have a clear connection to the preceeding sentence.

It's a good chapter, it raises questions to pull the reader in and gives us some good insight into the mind of Layne. Just be careful with your writing and make sure you proof-read your work. You have a tendency to fragment your sentences which interupts the flow of the story and results in a few irrelevant or unclear sentences. Also try to use a variety of dialogue tags to convey the emotions of characters in their speech; if they're angry use words that help illustrate that.

All in all a nice beginning for a promising story. I look forward to seeing where "The Mathews Scenario" goes. _

~Jax C. - RH review returned.

I like this story! The way it was so conversational sucked me in right away, good job. I like conversational stories. The dialogue is excellent, and the description is good. Keep it up!

So the part about Layne getting drunk seemed really improbable to me. Even a girl with an extremely low alcohol tolerance, she'd need a lot more than a few sips of a spiked Sprite to get drunk. And this is especially true when you consider the fact that Layne didn't taste anything unusual with the Sprite. Maybe you could have her so bored she drinks a few glasses or something.

I liked how Mathews took her up to a room and how people will probably misinterpret that. Its nice how they're relationship is changing gradually instead of drastically.

Making my way through the stockpile of reviews. Almost done here.

If a duck quacks, and no one hears it, does it still make a sound?-Me: YES! Please don't remind me of ducks, Layne. They remind me of my own and how they always call for attention at all hours. Speaking of, I need to buy Edward some bread...

I don't know...Spanish is pretty easy. "I straightened in my seat and glanced at the other two, hoping for a miracle. A fire drill, an earthquake, I was ready for anything at this point." I love the realism of this line. It brings me back to high school. I used to wish to get struck by lighting instead. Poor thing.

-The old Spanish hag neither spoke, nor understood English, so I wasn't exactly expecting a detention slip for my profanities.- Mine did. I said "Damnnnnnn" in class senior year and mine scolded at me. So I go "rayoooooooos", the Spanish equivalent and she nods.

Why does Hawkins sound suspiciously familiar to me in regards to my own life? Damn it, Layne! Stop being realistic! I can imagine all the moms going gaga (like mine) fawning over him when he'd innocently say hi to them when they'd go to pick up their kid.

"I know. The whole school is pretty aware of your crazy shoe fetish, actually.-you need to end the " My advice is to put the "They're cute" line in the same paragraph so you don't think another character is talking.

Hmm, Matthews is not a douche, holy god, Layne. She's really biased and spiteful when it comes to him. Haha, I didn't even think of that Maddox and other dude Grant as a love interest. Though you shouldn't add so many, as a word of caution now that you bring it up! Now when is Layne going to warm up to Matthews!

Yay! I gots a shout-out. I'm doing the bestest I can with correcting this! Woot woot!