Reviews for Orcus Beach
Eternal Skies chapter 5 . 5/27/2010
oh god, oh god, this is confusing me

~on to the next chapter~

things are happening TOO fast. maybe when you get the chance to edit it, make it much longer
Eternal Skies chapter 4 . 5/27/2010
whoa! love where things are going but they're maybe a bit too fast. i love things slow

better go and make sure Scarlett doesn't start a rampage (omg, my team is called scarlet rampage! coincedence?)
Eternal Skies chapter 3 . 5/27/2010
yay, not many mistakes here! kind of a relief!

It must (be) Amethyst's. She must really like strawberries( i felt like this was completely unneccasary since readers probably figured it out on their own

ooh, jelous drink-guy (i don't think i'd ever come to terms with thinking of him as zac..he's just drink-guy to me)
Eternal Skies chapter 2 . 5/26/2010
First off, brace yourself for the list of mistakes I found (I'm doing this for help):

*Theo is (was, not is) asleep with Luke, and Annette showed a few summer dresses to her and her friends

*"Daddy (was this a slip? did you mean Grandfather?) set me up!" Amethyst hissed.

*The meeting will (was to, pay attention to tenses) take place in Coastal Clubhouse, in one of the office rooms (apparently, it was a last-minute arrangement, and all of the formal meeting rooms were fully booked).

*At least they promised her that once it's over, she has (had? it didn't make sense that THEY promised HER that SHE should come to them at the beach) to follow right away, and tomorrow, they'll (they planned to go/they were going) go to the spa together.

*"Well, I don't," she replied 's (his? something's missing) ego was bruised.


back to the real thing:

i liked this chapter. i had a feeling that the guy she would meet was the drink guy and i'd felt excited, but his personality turned out worse than i thought. i like it when guys start off cold towards the girl but slowly fall for her.

but from the look of it, he's already hooked and it's only the second chapter o_O
Eternal Skies chapter 1 . 5/26/2010
interesting chapter! i have a feeling this one has hope T_T no cliches whatever since it had such a fresh beginning!


typos/mistakes/things tha didn't make sense:

17-year-old Amethyst Stone scolded her 6-year-old mischievous cousin, putting down his 3-year-old little brother, Theodore. (you wrote cousins when they're her nephews)

Three hyperactive little boys were a lot to handle. (they're only two, how come you said three?)


otherwise, it's pretty good! i wish and hope she ends up with the guy with the spilled drink
JustAnotherBookLover chapter 16 . 5/26/2010
OMG I loved this story so much !

JustAnotherBookLover chapter 15 . 5/26/2010
Haha it was really good.., :D

Luv sheldon

xox :)
JustAnotherBookLover chapter 14 . 5/26/2010
I love it.

I'm glad you didn't just go all happy story with no fights. It's good you made them mad at each other for awhile. It should show them how much they care about each other. COULD THAT VAL GIRL HAVE ANY WORSE TIMING!

haha i really enjoyed this chapter. I'm gonna go and keep reading.


Luv sheldon xox
JustAnotherBookLover chapter 13 . 5/26/2010
Naw how cute :P

Zac Amethyst
JustAnotherBookLover chapter 12 . 5/26/2010
Love it!

For some reeason I couldn't stop laughing when I read this. My little bro walked in and he just looked at me like I was a freak annd walked out. Just because I was LAUGHING!

Hahaha I really like it.

Thnx, Sheldon

JustAnotherBookLover chapter 11 . 5/26/2010
Bahahahaha loved it! I'm going to try and revieww every chapter :) sorry if you get annoyed by my reviews lol. Let me know if you do. I'm really swaying towards Zac I think it's sweet he finally found someone he loves. Wow what a twist that's so cool that she has a look it sucks to be getting used like that by Kent. I think they will be close friends but nothing more he belongs with the look alike. :D

Thnx heaps

Luv Sheldon xox
JustAnotherBookLover chapter 10 . 5/26/2010
OMG I loved it. :D I stopped to review so i could tell you how awesome you are. lol :) Okayy I'm gonna keep reading now. N thnx for reading and reviewing my story I apreciate it!

Man these dudes like love her... I love Amethyst's name btw.

I dnt know why but I like Zac a bit more... It just seems I dnt know like he is totally in love. I mean the guy knows the exact colour of her eyes and from a distance!

Lol ilyy :]

From Sheldon xoxoxox
lili999 chapter 1 . 5/25/2010
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JustAnotherBookLover chapter 1 . 5/25/2010
Haha I was the first to review YaY. Just thought I'd review coz I am waiting for reviews lol :) Reviews are awesome. Everyone should review! Your story is awesome. I love it


Ps. read n review my story plz tht would be awesome :) Just posted it. Itsmy first fictionpress so i hope its alright ;)

Thnxx soo much
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