|Reviews for Broken|
| a silenced revolution chapter 1 . 6/10/2011
i like the dark tone and some of the diction in this piece, such as the line "We are the children of a broken nation"
i also like that it's somewhat vague and open to interpretation.
a few minor things:
"wrotten" - "rotten"
and some of the commas feel out of place: after "strife", after the first "line", and after "lies".
finally, you ditch the rhyme scheme at the end. i'm not a huge fan of strict rhyme schemes in the first place, but the lack of consistency feels a little odd.
overall, though, nice work.
| Dragons Willow chapter 1 . 5/21/2010
too lazy to sign in...w
i luv this! it's a bit different from how you usually write, the set up anyway. its like a new flavor! guess that little writing hiatus did some good? LOL! anyway, i could critique if u want, but i won't...except to say that you spelled rotten with a "w"...unless you meant wraught...which means something else. but u know that. i think my fave line is the first one. i know why this seems so different to me now but familiar...it feels like something i would write. hee hee. yay!