Hey,

Woah, that was pretty scary! I liked the concept of this, and it's written so well :D There were a few mistakes throughout, but nothing a good edit won't fix. A great story, well done :)

ranDUMM

That wasn't that bad! Question: If there's hands how come the eyes are yellow? Humans don't have yellow eyes. (Unless it wasn't human.) Also, instead of "Then, a few days latter, another ones gone!" try "Then, a few days later, another one's gone!"

This should have been longer, its great~!

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The idea was interesting, but not well-founded. It seemed to be a patch-work of different ideas, and though the end result was not bad, it was confusing. I did however enjoy the part where Bryan compared Malinda to a manatee.

-Masq

-,,-

I was so excited to see another new story from you! Good work! There's always this feeling of dread. It's cool that you had someone new coming into the town, showing us just how warped the place is becoming. I've learned though not to get too attached to the main characters. I do wonder how Jerry and his son survived. And Winters for that matter.

And you had Bryan talk to the boy in black! Finally someone has made contact. Not that the kid said anything. And the wings on his shirt? Make me think harbinger (or angel) of death all over again.

Thanks for another installment on this story. I really want to know what's really happening in this town, soon, and if anyone will show up to save the day.

A few things to go back and check:

"Something defiantly seemed off about this place" - should defiantly be definitely?

"Bryan shook chuckled and shook his head." - remove first shook so it reads "Bryan chuckled and shook his head."

Oh My Gosh.