Reviews for Battle At Time's End
dail-of-the-air chapter 1 . 5/29/2010
I kind of like the reference to Norse mythology, and I kind of don't. It seems so biased to use only the Norse god. Why not Zeus or Jupiter, or even the Trinity or Jehovah or Buddha or Allah? Would not all the "king" gods combined be better? For gods are an embodiment of the human conscience.

Your writing is very good at drawing in the reader. You know how to do battle without battle. I can see that you're quite passionate about what you write about. However, you shouldn't allow this passion to impede upon your grammar. There are many, many syntax issues, and though I understand that it is a method of making the writing style seem more grand or more in the style of an epic poem, it becomes self-destructive when the clarity of the writing is compromised. This principle would also apply to your tendency towards thesaurus writing. Some words, in a denotation sense, make sense, but when you put them to their connotation, they are not entirely correct. The point of writing is not to show off your vocabulary, but to show off your ideas. Vocabulary is merely a way of increasing the precision of your ideas.

You've done a very good job with this story. The plot-line and world are creative, and even though this idea has been visited many times before, you have become original. An excellent job!
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