|Reviews for bury|
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 5/27/2010
The phrasing in the second stanza seemed awkward. Maybe because you change from left to do? Or maybe it's just 'cause I don't understand how stones leave imprints in the beach? It also might be the punctuation which is kinda sporadic in the piece...
Anyway, I do like the rest of it. I think your descriptions and imagery are great as always and I love that ending.
| Manuel Fajar chapter 1 . 5/23/2010
Your poems have always 'worked' for me, but this one eludes me. The image is of the ocean and sand and beach and shore and brine; yet sweet comes in, where, how? Is love like the ocean? It could be, perhaps should be, with its mountainous waves and storm tossed flotsam & jetsam— but, it's not always an apparent metaphor or simile, depending on how its elaborated.
Probably overworking my pea-sized cerebellum. m ;-)
| Creeping Collarbones chapter 1 . 5/23/2010
I like this. It flowed really nicely.
it's hard to do this dance
of salty and sweet.- I like that.