|Reviews for little dolly|
| punctured.lungs chapter 1 . 6/23/2011
this is so powerful, it sent chills down my spine. i won't lie, it's extremely disturbing, but that doesn't make it any less incredible.
| elle is a punk chapter 1 . 6/3/2010
Wow. I really liked what you did with this...really creepy! I liked your phrasing and everything. Great work!
| tonight we bloom chapter 1 . 5/30/2010
this is creepily beautiful, if you know what i mean. just the right amount of scariness. but the way you strung words together was just great. i would love opinions from a talented writer like yourself on my pieces, it would mean the world to me!
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 5/27/2010
Thanks for your reviews!
As an aside, what is this challenge you blame? Where did it come from? Just curious.
Anyway, on to the piece...
I like how you separated them into individual sort of chapters with the roman numerals. That worked well to separate them and create a parallel. I like the way you repeated certain words and phrases. It created a great connection between the stanzas. The only thing in i. you don't have an I statement like in the other ones which say "i swear" and "i told" it just seemed a little out of place without it.
I liked the descriptions in the piece too. They were really powerful and well described. The only thing I didn't like was v. That seemed to come out of nowhere. And it didn't make sense to me. Why do all this work to throw it up in the attic where no one will see it? Plus, I saw this as a metaphor for a real person and I didn't understand what the equivalent would be for a real person.
Still, the piece was well done. Like I said, great descriptions and really powerful.
| Lady Riss chapter 1 . 5/25/2010
OMG! I freaking LOVE this! It's creepy and scary and perfect!