|Reviews for Memorial Day|
| Raebie chapter 1 . 12/10/2010
Very sweet, lovely tribute.
| Fresh Wildflower chapter 1 . 8/7/2010
Oh, that was such a moving tribute, thank you Punslinger.
| Mirabella chapter 1 . 6/8/2010
Wow, love this! :) So pretty and sweet. Love the imagery of 'wind's stutter', it seems like the very wind has seen a moment to catch its breath. :)
| East-0f-Eden chapter 1 . 6/6/2010
you're right we do need to remember more often what our Veterans did for us. If they hadn't fought their battles (D-day and so forth) we wouldn't have the freedoms in love that we have.
| wo bu ai ni le chapter 1 . 6/4/2010
"And brighten our epitaph
with a loving laugh."
Aww, that's a sweet thought.
I don't actually know what memorial day this is, but the poem is a bit like Memorial Sunday in Britain, which sometimes gets so patriotic that even I feel touched XD
| sophiesix chapter 1 . 5/28/2010
Loved teh wistfulness in teh lines:
"Unaware as they pause
over our forgotten cause,
that we at their feet
held life equally sweet."
A great image, and lovbely word choices, though i'd agree with Frida that the constant rhyming takes away from it a little for me :)
| oxytocin chapter 1 . 5/27/2010
I love the beginning of this: 'marbled way' is such a beautiful image. After that, I think the rhyming gets a little forced - 'flutter' and 'stutter' aren't particularly natural. I'm unsure as to what you are trying to convey with 'stutter' - the wind's hesitancy, the way it comes in stops and starts? The second stanza is a bit oblique - 'to buy them shade/at our silent parade'. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I have a picture of two lovers under a memorial statue. So I'd interpret the 'shade' to be the shadow that the statue casts over the lovers. Is that correct? 'Silent parade' I can't really guess at. I like the use of 'epitaph' in the penultimate line; it illuminates
the general theme of the poem a bit more.
I like the overarching image that is presented in this poem, but some of the details lack punchiness and clarity. I will admit that I am generally not a fan of rhyme, so I am undoubtedly biased in my opinion on your rhyming.
| nickyO chapter 1 . 5/26/2010
Skillfully crafted, "at our silent parade" is a haunting and touching line. But what I really love about the poem is that it brings the reader right into it. Very easy to bring to mind memories of those gravesites/memorials.
| J.A. Fletcher chapter 1 . 5/26/2010
Wonderful poem, Punslinger. You really have a way of putting words together in a way that is just beautiful. Good job.
| Eternal Skies chapter 1 . 5/26/2010
that's very beautiful. i always get goosebumps when i know that today is the day when someone i know had died. had they known that they were going to die? did they have any idea or feeling or were they just taken like that?
your poem was very profound and heartfelt. so many people had died to make the world what it is today: it's good and it's bad.