Interesting, for sure. While I didn't understand most of it, I enjoyed reading this. I would have liked if it was a bit more personal. What you have here is good, but it's very general, almost universal (har har) and I found it hard to engage with the piece. Also, there is no story. It's just words.

Still, nice writing. I think this was my favourite part:

'If we're particularly unlucky, a black hole might just swallow what we had whole, making certain that it'll never come up.'

Excellent wordplay, a delight to read.

So yeah, slightly disappointing with the lack of character, but otherwise good. Keep writing :)

Yet, I'm still alive.

That line coupled with the PS. and PPS. are so poignant. And speak to all those who have thought about giving up hope. As raw as they are they seem almost poetic. They present an idea but also the reminder that things will get better. :D

Good point about all your listed facts, really made me think and reflect on how I few things. Marvelous.

This is but an example of something so precious to us that i my way. Of course, you can't define completely something lik E; so similar t in tha is sometime and at other times, lik Y.-best line ever.

Love the format and the idea presented. I never quite thought of it that way. But it makes SO much sense. I also like how your topics range and are usually about deep personal views and not superficial stuff. Like...this guy hates me. :)

This is such a stellar idea. Prosetry is becoming one of my favorite new mediums here on the site. This is an excellent example. You capture you images in such a lovely fashion. The words are so perfect and each one counts and contributes to the idea being presented. I like the paragraph about holding the starts the best. :) Beautiful.

i love this one. it's like a very clever english lesson. i love the acrostic definition of hope especially E. the "beginning of eternity/end of time" bit is very clever and very poetic. i also like how you break down the word definition into 'de' and 'fine'. i think this piece is a very nice commentary on the connotation of words, and while it does read like a lecture, it's also very engaging and you maintain a poetic tone throughout.

this chapter is also a lot more cohesive. the progression from talking about definitions to talking about hope to talking about numbers is smooth and makes sense. it's easier to understand than the last chapter. it's still poetic (actually the poeticness of it sticks out more because the chapter is so analytical).

the only part that didn't make sense was the p.s. i see that it incorporates parts of the definition of hope that you used, but the rest of the chapter is very objective and analytical, while the last line seems more personal. when i was reading the chapter i wasn't really thinking about the narrator, because the narrator had a passive role of explaining about definitions etc. but then the p.s makes me think about the narrator as a person. what is she watching? where is she? her heart is being rained on (metaphorically), so does that mean she's going to lose hope soon? what was she hoping for?

the p.s. raises a lot of questions, which might have been your intention anyway. i think a part of me wants this story to actually be a story, so i keep wondering about who's writing the letter and who they're writing to. maybe it's just the letter format that throws me off. i think it's more my problem than yours though P

i'm glad my last review was helpful. hopefully this one is shorter (i think it is lol). your explanation of the measurements makes perfect sense. reading over it, i understand what you were saying now.

happy (belated) new year! keep writing ) i'll review the next chapter soonish

this is very interesting (and i'm not just saying that as a filler compliment). i like how it's poetic prose and also a letter. i like the whole celestial imagery you have going throughout the piece. i love the paragraph about holding the stars in your bare hands. it's a great juxtaposition between childlike wonder and having the power to hold entire galaxies. i also love the end, the part about wanting to write a letter on the sky, such a great image.

i'd like to know what was the inspiration for this. you said you and your friend are doing exercises to stretch your poetic abilities, but what kind of exercises are we talking? did you write each other prompts? each write something using the same title? stream of consciousness? also, what made you guys decide on letters? this is just for my own curiosity, it doesn't really have much to do with the piece itself. i just want to know where it came from (if that makes sense).

i think the piece needs context. it's an exercise but it's also a letter. who is the narrator? who is the narrator talking to? i like how they don't have names, but i think a little explanation on the motivation behind the letters would make it stronger.

also, you conjure up some great images throughout the piece. you're goal was to be a poetic as possible and you certainly achieved that. you're descriptions are really great and you've got some great little pieces of wisdom, especially in the first paragraph. love the bit about how the sun always shines even when it's cloudy and dark.

the only unfortunate part is that i can't figure out how each paragraph relates to one before it. i'm not sure what the overall meaning of the chapter is. is it a love letter? i think the poetry of it makes it a little hard to understand. like in the fourth paragraph (about the diameter of the earth and lengths and measurements), i'm not sure what you're saying. i think the poetry and imagery are great, but it doesn't create a cohesive piece. i'm not sure how you'd go about fixing that. maybe being a little less poetic P

but then again, if the point is to try to be as poetic as possible, then maybe it's all right that it's not totally clear. ambiguity works if the reader is patient. i personally didn't mind reading the chapter a few times and soaking it all the imagery, but i'll admit, i only read it that many times because you wanted actual concrit. i think most people don't want to put that much energy into a story, especially not one chapter of a story. that might explain the lack of reviews, people be lazy.

i hope this review is helpful. i know it's really long. sorry! please don't take any of my comments personally. you're a very good writer and it's great that you're trying to push yourself. i'll try to review the next chapter soon. keep writing and happy new year!

Somewhere among all those thoughtful, constructive comments that you left me, it occurred to me that I should check out your work.

So here is a very, very overdue review.

This is lovely. Here on FP I'm more of a comedic, romantic kind of writer, but the more abstract, artistic pieces I've written are inspired by stories like yours.

Yeah. I'm sorry. I don't really know what to say; I'm not good at reviewing. :S

But I like this idea. I'd love to see the other letters.

Plus, the title is win (:

Celia

I like the thing bout knowing each other, it's so important in a ship.