Reviews for The Truth About Forever
Aas chapter 1 . 6/24/2010
I really love your writing. It's beautiful, and that's the only word for it. This was a great sad story.
TheLadyPendragon chapter 1 . 6/2/2010
I really enjoy the way you capture the voice of your character with your narration. It seems very natural. You don't go over the top with descriptions, but the dialogue and descriptions are just complicated enough. I really think you described that feeling of being lost really, really well.

'I was so lost. I went to church, but I knew I didn't belong. I went to a club, but I can't dance. I even went to Alcoholics Anonymous, but when I stood up and said, Hi, my name is Hanna and I don't drink but I just feel so lost and I didn't know where to go so I came here, they told me to go home because AA is for people with drinking problems. So I went home.'

I liked the part above, especially, because it's gripping. The whole piece, actually, qualifies as gripping.

The only changes I'd suggest are spacing the paragraphs, as they look a little jumbled together. Also, for the first two lines you write: 'I never thought about forever until I met you. The thought had never come up for me before,' but I don't think the second line is really necessary, since you state the same thing in the first line - it seems redundant. Other that that, this is a really nice piece and you did a great job. :)
raycel44 chapter 1 . 5/31/2010
chapter 1 was grabbing. It made me want to know more about what happened between the two. What did happen? . Oh and one more thing, try spacing out some of the paragraphs. Some of them were so long that made it so hard on the eyes. I have no problem with long paragraphs but it would be great if you could try and space them out because some of the readers here don't like those kind of things. Hope you can read and review my stories too thanks. Keep writing
Emy chapter 1 . 5/31/2010
...Oh my gosh. This is so beautful It sounded so realistic and wonderful and true. I felt like she was actually talking to me. Directly to me. This was,no, not was, is sad. It's sad because break-ups are sad. I love how you interpret the word forever. I love how you relate forever and never. I like how you said if a moment lasted forever other great things couldn't happen. The world does constantly change. This was so adorable&great! You really are awesome Your style and everything is so natural. It's natural because it sounds so,so,so real! Thank you for taking your time to write this up because it was great. An awesome thing to read&to entertain me. ]