|Reviews for Empty Core|
| Launo chapter 1 . 7/26/2010
I really liked your word choices.
The whole piece feels deep and the style was just beautiful.
I like it a lot.
| ByYourSide chapter 1 . 7/19/2010
Can you tell me more about the rigveda book and the vedas? I assume it's from Hinduism, but I don't know tons about it. Are you Hindi? What do you guys believe?
Sorry for all the questions, but it's interesting to me. :)
I like the imagery here. Especially the part about those who walk for months. I got a strong image of a pilgramage, and solemn faces, and bright orange lights in the darkness. I like how you say you envy and doubt their beliefs. What does that mean? Is this based on real life?
By Your Side
| seredemia chapter 1 . 6/21/2010
I loved this. For some reason, I think the different language in it gives it a unique feeling. It's different and it stands out. I like how you interpreted the non existence and no meaning. I loved the line about envy... This was short, but yourchoice of words were beautiful. Great job on this :D
| this wild abyss chapter 1 . 6/15/2010
This is beautiful, haunting, and amazing. You descriptions were spot on, and word choice was perfect for the scene. I like the sense of mystery you conveyed here. Awesome work!
| Charel Lebl chapter 1 . 6/14/2010
This reminds me of a book I read once...very deep and serious. Like you said, a bit confusing, but I got the picture well, and could definitely imagine just how she was feeling. Very touching!
| Alice Novak chapter 1 . 6/11/2010
Um. I don't really get it.
But I can tell its' very spiritual.
That's the only thing I got out of it. sorry.
I've never studied the Sanskrit.. or the Vedas..
So I'm not in the right position to give any comments.
However, I think you should write an explanation at the beginning. You should also translate the Rigvedas as part of the piece.
| sophiesix chapter 1 . 6/9/2010
i love teh para describing the crowds by the banks of the river - just beautiful. i like how you create this wonderful feeling of togetherness, untouched by everyday things, and then write teh narrator out of that feeling entirely. powerful! good luck in teh wcc!
| Q75 chapter 1 . 6/7/2010
Wow. I really get this piece.
The envy of the others, who seem to never waver in belief. I especially liked, the contrasting factor of 'I am a flame, untouched, pure..' and 'my own soot smothers me, my own black obilerates me'. and the repetition of I, and at the end my own; hints to the readers that it is because of the character's fault he could not 'see the light'.
And yes, the piece is a bit of confusing, but it would mirror the confusion in the character, as he/she doubts and envy, and seek meaning in their life. No?
Heh. Well, that's what I think.
| Sercus Kaynine chapter 1 . 6/6/2010
Nice take on the prompt. Something spiritually and historically related sticks out. I also enjoyed your descriptions of places and emotions.
Good job and good luck in WCC!
| Experiment101 chapter 1 . 6/5/2010
I love this, and how you describe stars as pinpricks, :o E- from the road house
| AvidWriter-92 chapter 1 . 6/5/2010
Hey, Pooja. :)
I really, really liked your one shot for the WCC. :P I wrote one for it, :D but it's very different from yours. :P
I LOVED this. :) Just adored it. :)
I studied the Vedas briefly in school, so I kinda grasped what you were talking about in your A/N. :P
I have a question, though... Is the italics a translation of a certain hymn, or did you write it?
Either way, it's beatifully written. I liked the viewpoint as someone who is running out of time, and is in a hopeless situation... You ended it perfectly, also.
I loved how you described everything! Great job!
~Avid... :) (My entry is called Perceptions, if you wanted to see my take on the prompt. :D)