Reviews for Empty Core
Launo chapter 1 . 7/26/2010
I really liked your word choices.

The whole piece feels deep and the style was just beautiful.

I like it a lot.
ByYourSide chapter 1 . 7/19/2010
Can you tell me more about the rigveda book and the vedas? I assume it's from Hinduism, but I don't know tons about it. Are you Hindi? What do you guys believe?

Sorry for all the questions, but it's interesting to me. :)

I like the imagery here. Especially the part about those who walk for months. I got a strong image of a pilgramage, and solemn faces, and bright orange lights in the darkness. I like how you say you envy and doubt their beliefs. What does that mean? Is this based on real life?

Very interested,

By Your Side
seredemia chapter 1 . 6/21/2010
I loved this. For some reason, I think the different language in it gives it a unique feeling. It's different and it stands out. I like how you interpreted the non existence and no meaning. I loved the line about envy... This was short, but yourchoice of words were beautiful. Great job on this :D
this wild abyss chapter 1 . 6/15/2010
This is beautiful, haunting, and amazing. You descriptions were spot on, and word choice was perfect for the scene. I like the sense of mystery you conveyed here. Awesome work!

Charel Lebl chapter 1 . 6/14/2010
This reminds me of a book I read once...very deep and serious. Like you said, a bit confusing, but I got the picture well, and could definitely imagine just how she was feeling. Very touching!

Alice Novak chapter 1 . 6/11/2010
Um. I don't really get it.

But I can tell its' very spiritual.

That's the only thing I got out of it. sorry.

I've never studied the Sanskrit.. or the Vedas..

So I'm not in the right position to give any comments.

However, I think you should write an explanation at the beginning. You should also translate the Rigvedas as part of the piece.


Deli .x
sophiesix chapter 1 . 6/9/2010
i love teh para describing the crowds by the banks of the river - just beautiful. i like how you create this wonderful feeling of togetherness, untouched by everyday things, and then write teh narrator out of that feeling entirely. powerful! good luck in teh wcc!
Q75 chapter 1 . 6/7/2010
Wow. I really get this piece.

The envy of the others, who seem to never waver in belief. I especially liked, the contrasting factor of 'I am a flame, untouched, pure..' and 'my own soot smothers me, my own black obilerates me'. and the repetition of I, and at the end my own; hints to the readers that it is because of the character's fault he could not 'see the light'.

And yes, the piece is a bit of confusing, but it would mirror the confusion in the character, as he/she doubts and envy, and seek meaning in their life. No?

Heh. Well, that's what I think.

Sercus Kaynine chapter 1 . 6/6/2010
Nice take on the prompt. Something spiritually and historically related sticks out. I also enjoyed your descriptions of places and emotions.

Good job and good luck in WCC!
Experiment101 chapter 1 . 6/5/2010
I love this, and how you describe stars as pinpricks, :o E- from the road house
AvidWriter-92 chapter 1 . 6/5/2010
Hey, Pooja. :)

I really, really liked your one shot for the WCC. :P I wrote one for it, :D but it's very different from yours. :P


I LOVED this. :) Just adored it. :)

I studied the Vedas briefly in school, so I kinda grasped what you were talking about in your A/N. :P

I have a question, though... Is the italics a translation of a certain hymn, or did you write it?

Either way, it's beatifully written. I liked the viewpoint as someone who is running out of time, and is in a hopeless situation... You ended it perfectly, also.

Sigh... :)

I loved how you described everything! Great job!

~Avid... :) (My entry is called Perceptions, if you wanted to see my take on the prompt. :D)