Reviews for Provenance II: Still Alive
gin flower chapter 13 . 11/16/2011
What! Blrrrugh. You can't finish there, you have to update. it's the law. I'm really worried that things with georgia and kennie are irredemably bad.. even though I'm sure they aren't.. but what if they are?
akaCHEEKS chapter 13 . 11/15/2011
Some grammar mistakes here.

""How are we suppose to get past this if you want even talk to me?" The word "want" should be replaced with "won't" because "want" means a desire to posses while "won't" is the abbreviation of "will not" and I think that's the word that you're looking for.

"He was trying his best to intimidate her and it should have worked—she should have begun to cower away from him, allow the spews of profanities and slurs beat her." This is not a complete sentence. What exactly are you trying to say here? I mean I get it, but you didn't portray it well. You're trying to say that he was trying to intimidate her, and it would have worked but then what? You ended it so abruptly with a period without finishing your train of thought.

"And you could have stayed happily with Danielle and…" Move some words around to have the sentence flow better. It should be: "You could have happily stayed with Danielle and-" Take out the ellipses "..." because he's cutting off her speech, she's not stretching out her sentence, right?

"...who had eyes only for her, was now what?who had eyes only for her, was now what?" Rather than ending with "was not what?" you should switch it to "where was she?" I think that's what you're looking for, otherwise, you're completely ruining the flow of this sentence and her train of thought.

"He always found a way to turn their arguments into her fault." The word "into" should be switched to "as" so it should read: "He always found a way to turn their arguments as her fault."

"That's the smell of your own stupid seeping out in copious amounts." The word "stupid" should be switched into "stupidity" otherwise your subject and verbs don't agree. You have a lot of s/v issues actually.

"...that nothing you've done to me has squashed these feelings yet...but" The word "these" should be switched to "those" while the ellipses in between "yet" and "but" should be switched to a coma.

""Don't you ever! Don't you ever say something like that!" The exclamation mark in between "ever" and "don't" should be switched into a coma because the sentence isn't done yet and that "don't you ever" sentence can't stand on it's own. If a sentence can't stand on it's own, then you either add it to the sentence before or after it.

As for my comments..

I haven't even realized that you updated already! That was quick considering the amount of time it takes for you to usually update. I'm glad that you're back to writing this story. I really like it.
Nopotofgold chapter 13 . 11/14/2011
. . . I don't know what to say. Ken i am sure is a similar predicament. I didn't know that he was still messing around with the other girl since georgia came back. PLEASE more!
Sara chapter 13 . 11/14/2011
I'm so happy to see updates! it's been too long since i checked, but i'm so glad to see that this chapter and the next few will be Ken and Georgia working out their issues. I'm so proud of her right now, facing Ken and all. Referring to the last chapter, i'm happy about the little insights into Ken's form of thinking, like when he talks to his sister. I hope there are more moments like that. Anyway, i hope you update again soon!
bianca08 chapter 13 . 11/14/2011
thanks for updating. I am so excited for the next few chapters.I really liked Evie and feel really bad that she was sent away. Hopefully Georgia will find a way to cope.
sodapop776 chapter 12 . 11/13/2011
before I had read the translations on the bottom i google translated it and your english and spanish words dont match. in spanish you said everytime i go, i hurt, i come back home and she's afraid of you. it should be- cada vez que salgo, siempre le dolía, vuelvo a casa para encontrar a su miedo de ti- just a few words needed to be changed. thought you might like to know...

by the way i really like your books(:
missmarymacintosh chapter 13 . 11/13/2011
O goodness, the ending to this was just SO very evil, I literally gasped in excitement at the end and then sighed in disappointment, but I'm only telling you that so you know how invested I was in this story, this chapter especially! Its exploring aspects of the characters I REALLY wanted to be explored, so I'm really excited. I'm so interested in the emotional dilemmas of the characters and I cannot wait to read more! This was great!
Ck90 chapter 13 . 11/13/2011
I just wanted to say that if you need anymore help with spanish, feel free to send me your questions, I assure you, I am a native speaker. With that said, YES Georgia is fighting back! I just love that she has spunk left! I feel bad that Evie had to go, she seemed to really understand and be able to get Ken to act differently!

HAPPY WRITINGS!
On The Tip Of My Tongue chapter 13 . 11/13/2011
That was beautiful. 3 I love Georgia.
LivesTooShort52 chapter 13 . 11/13/2011
GEORGIA GOT A BACKBONE! Yay! This makes me sooo happy. I'm so sick of heroines dealing with their lover's bullshit. It's like, 'Talk back, do something, come on... or run away...'. This chappter makes me happy!
sillygoose2008 chapter 13 . 11/13/2011
this chapter really made me cry it got to the core of there problem and i hope that they get help and are able to be happy with each other.
Its.Not.Me.Its.You chapter 13 . 11/13/2011
You just made me so sad.
hazeleyes14 chapter 13 . 11/12/2011
Please update soon! I love that she is becoming stronger! And he, well he needs to learn! But please update soon I love this series!
Jennyt82 chapter 13 . 11/12/2011
Georgia is back and with a bang! I loved it well I didn't like the turmoil but I did like the writing. Get cracking with that deadline!
Purple123 chapter 13 . 11/12/2011
Wait. Waitwaitwaitwaitwait- WAIT.

Ken is stil sleeping with Danielle? Did I just misread, or have I completely missed something? I know he did before, but I thought that was long over.

?

Anywho, great chapter - love the fast update!

(If you could just clear the Danielle thing up, it would be much appreciated - thanks)
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