|Reviews for Out of this world|
| Open your eyes Chopstick chapter 1 . 6/10/2010
"You know those teens that sit at the back of the classroom, that don't make a sound, sit there silently listening to everyone else's conversations and just flow in the crowd, yeah that's kind of me." -really long run on sentence.
"I could be sitting next to Priscilla the schools head cheerleader and..."-put commas after "Priscilla" and after "cheerleader"
Actually, you have a llot of run on sentences and grammer problems. Either you forget commas, or you put too much. Keep that in mind. And some spelling, but not as much. For example: "Completely of topic…"-"off" not "of"
Okay, with all that out of the way, once you make your corrections, it should get a whole lot easier to read. The idea seems bland (the story) but it's only the first chapter. I'm sure you'll put your own twist/personality in the story. Keep work on this.
Mind R&R my stories/poems? Thanks!