|Reviews for Cry, Devil Red Eye|
| Fadded chapter 1 . 6/11/2010
Again it was good. At the end, when you switched point of views, you lost me. Make the transition better. For instance, you could make the whole story italic when your creature is thinking and telling the story, but then when you switch, go back to normal font. It is just a better transition. You also said 'thought' a lot. Use different words to describe his thinking or don't write that word at all and just tell what other images came up in the room.
Also, when he saw the tree, maybe he ran to it and when he hit the wall or something, he started to connect the dots that everything he was seeing was something he made up, and have him be fascinated with that aspect as well. Just giving some ideas.