|Reviews for Twister|
| MeAsIAm chapter 1 . 6/17/2010
irst off, the repetition of 'As the wind whips by' is very nice. It adds a distinct touch of the ferocity of the storm. It is straightforward without much twists and turns, quite unlike its subject :) Still it builds up the tension of the storm. Maybe you can try to pace the lines so that the number of syllables match so that it will help to build up the pace that is crucial to the subject. Excellent work though.
| Kobra Kid chapter 1 . 6/16/2010
Another excellent poem! I loved all of the imagery and descriptions, I could imagine everything happening in my head. :). Seriously, keep on writing!
P.S. Payback via Reborn? Thanks!
| this wild abyss chapter 1 . 6/16/2010
Hm... I'm not actually sure if I like this. It has nothing to do with your writing, which is splendid as usual, it's just something else. I don't know. I used to live in a town with Tornado sirens and whatnot, and I saw one. But in town, we treated it as a normal occurence. Only grannies and little babies would go down and take shelter. Everyone else went about their daily business. That's just my personal feelings for the matter.
The piece itself was done fairly well. The repeating line at the end of the the stanza was nice, though I didn't feel that it fit very well.
In conclusion, I think I'm in an overly critical mood. (:
| AvidWriter-92 chapter 1 . 6/16/2010
I quite liked this. :) The tone and descriptions were great! I loved the part about the trees twisting, and fear being the only thing there. :D
I also liked how you added "as the wind whips by" as the last line to each stanza. :) It was a nice touch. :P
The first line is a little bit funny sounding to me...
I would change it to:
"The first child [that] awaken[s] begins to cry."
I also think that the flow of this poem, in stanzas one and two aren't as good as the later ones... I think that some of the lines are too long, so it messes up the rhythm that you had going. :P
Otherwise, I love this one a lot!
Avid. Roadhouse. (Repaid review... 1/1. :D)
| Sarah A. W chapter 1 . 6/14/2010
I love it when you say "As the wind whips by" this is just my favorite part!
I love it exactly gives you the feeling of a twister, you make great description by using simple words to creat a clear image for the reader.
| May Elizabeth chapter 1 . 6/14/2010
This is really powerful. The desciptions and the tone was perfect.