Amazing! I love Dracula. The vocabulary and plot line were amazing!

Stone walls do not a prison make, Nor iron bars a cage.

Oh, it's one of those 'im a monster, your not a monster' moments.

Ah ah ah... not that Count.

How did he convert her without het knowing about it?

Diptheria: A serious infection of the nose and throat that's easily preventable by a vaccine. Back then they were probably short on vaccines.

Zombie? ... ha... that would be absurd... the Count is clearly a vampire.

Dang... this should be good.

Lovely story I really enjoyed reading it...
You did an amazing job :)

Dear squimkin,
Since your name doesn't have a hyperlink, I can't reply to you any more directly than this, so I hope you don't mind my doing so on this forum.

You are absolutely right about my Latin being totally incorrect, (I don't know any Latin and just translated it on the internet). I was wondering when someone was going to notice, haha. I was in a hurry to post the chapter and never got around to asking anyone for the proper translation. Thank you very much for giving me the correct version, I will alter that shortly.

Your critique about the climax being oddly passive I also acknowledge to be a fair statement. This is partly because I am not very good at writing action sequences, and was trying to avoid having to write one, and partly because I intended Rosalind to be the protagonist. If this is Rosalind's story, not Igor's, then the "climax" of the story should involve *her* storyarch/conflict (the internal conflict about her feelings towards Igor), and not Igor's (the external conflict with the werewolves), so that was part of my reasoning.

However, you're right. It does lead to a feeling of anticlimax, and it was a poor excuse to escape writing an action sequence. If I ever do a rewrite (which I've contemplated), I will definitely improve upon those last scenes, because I know they're lacking.

Thank you very much for your balanced and helpful review! I appreciate the time you took to give me some good advice, and thank you so much for reading. I'm glad you enjoyed it overall.

anonymousse

What a wonderful story! :)

You have wonderful style and excellent vocabulary - I loved how you described things and objects and people. Your characters don't seem flat or boring. Igor in particular is excellently written, multi-faceted and realistic despite being a fantastical creature :P

I did expect Count Dracula to be more involved, though. It seemed as though there was some great build-up, but it never reached a peak. Likewise with the werewolves. The climax of the story appeared to be when Igor went hunting werewolves and Rosalind stayed at home and realised she loved him - but it was all very passive. The story could have used a little more plot development.

Aside from that, I loved reading Countess. Thank you for writing it and uploading it! :)

squimkin

Hello dear - I'll review properly once I'm at the end of the story, but this is just a little note :P Your Our Father prayer in Latin in this chapter is all wrong... I imagine you manually typed it into a translator and copy-pasted? :) Don't worry, I'm not flaming you or anything, just pointing out that it's all incorrect, haha :P

The Lord's Prayer in Latin - Pater Noster - is as follows (you can also look Google Pater Nostrum if you'd like for a different translation):

Pater noster, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur nomen tuum. Adveniat regnum tuum. Fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo et in terra. Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie, et dimitte nobis debita nostra sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris. Et ne nos inducas in tentationem, sed libera nos a malo. Amen.

Directly translated, that would become:

Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Anyway this is just a note as I read through the story - don't worry, as soon as I finish the last chapter I'll leave a proper review! :)

squimkin

loved it. the last chapter was a surprising extra bonus. I like how you used Draclua as a basis without depending too much on him as a character or the book in general.

As far as I know, Vlad was put to death for his gruesome crimes.

This story is so romantic and beautiful! I want to cry happy tears right now! This is my first time on fictionpress, and I am glad the first story I chose to read is yours! I could not have imagined a better pick! 24 chapters filled with such strong emotion, it made my heart melt with every word! Seriously, every time Count Igor spoke, I could just imagine is silky voice...like melting chocolate, or something. Rosalind, I felt so bad for her in the beginning, but it certainly was a happy ending for her :) I felt even worse for Count Igor in the begining though...to think he was alone all those years, and the first woman he turns despises him. I am glad Count Igor and Rosalind found love and happiness in each other! Count Igor is so selfless, protecting the villagers and putting his life on the line! If only the villagers knew...! Obviously, I love your characters to death! I feel everything they feel, and I am glad I had that privilege. Thank you for giving me three hours of happiness and for writing this story for the world to see! From a grateful reader to a deserving story and author, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

Since you seem into it...might I recommend reading "The Historian" by elizabeth kostava? It deals with Vlad the Impaler too, and tries to be more historical (duh) and logical.

While I did enjoy reading this, I feel that it could be improved with a few minor changes.

First, perhaps a longer description of village life for Rosalind. You could also include her somehow sensing Igor watching her.

Second, more description of the various attacks might also improve the ambiance; if the readers are greatly in fear for the villagers (or Igor or Rosalind) then you could heighten the sense of drama in the story.

Have a lovely holiday season!