|Reviews for A Bucketful of Oranges|
| thefaultinourpatronus chapter 1 . 2/5/2011
I think the imagery throughout is the best part of this story. It's extremely powerful, and a great opening. The flow of this story amazes me; It all just merges and fits together like pieces of a puzzle. Kudos to you for that. There are a few lines of personification which I really like. Overall, it's a really great story about everyday experiences and things that happen to all of us while growing up. Really nice :)
review marathon, link on my profile
| lookingwest chapter 1 . 2/4/2011
From the Review Game's Review Marathon (link in my profile)
I wake up every morning surrounded by orange...
-Style: could omit "up"
Oh cool, I'm enjoying what you're doing with each paragraph, it gives it a new dimension I wasn't expecting. I've never seen something like this before, so for an experiment, I think it's very successful, keeps the readers on their toes. Now I just am wondering what the significance of the enjambments are? Is "Hunting" meaning more than just hunting? Is it a signifier for something else, has a deeper meaning? I'm not sure if I grasp what the intentional enjambment of each line means for the writer, but as far as reading it, it gives the pace a good rhythm-I do though, understand that each thing is an object and is orange, but at first it threw me off because I'm thinking "well, Hunting isn't an object", everything else seemed to be...even the last line had that object connotation because the room was described to us in the first paragraph, you know? That was the only thing that didn't click like the rest.
...the first one so dark I was sure I could feel it touching me.
-Love this line because of the use of personification and the lines leading up to it, it's just sort of magical that way, enjoyed it-also, it reminds me of motoring in the Black Hills, triggered some fun memories.
Overall, I think this was my favorite piece I read of yours today. I loved the stream-of-consciousness in this, you did a fabulous job with it and that contributes a lot to why I enjoyed it. I also think you captured a lot of vibrant memories and did so in a wonderful way-I found everything so rich with imagery, and also relatable. I think, since we both live in the Midwest, you've done an excellent job describing a lot of the things that I've also experienced growing up around here-hunting, Girl Scouts, the camping trips, all those sorts of things. I just loved that. Definitely very cool, and it was really well edited and a successful idea.
| LaFarfalla chapter 1 . 6/26/2010
Right away you start off with powerful imagery. You keep it going throughout the whole piece. You really paint a vivid window into your life and your cherished memories. Well done! ]
I enjoyed the paragraph that started out with "Nightlights" the best, I think. I can really relate to staying up late and chatting with a friend and talking about things that you think are grown up sounding but really aren't. XDD
Your form is very interesting too. I love how you started out each paragraph with something else that was orange and then you merged the last sentence into the next paragraph by excluding punctuation. It really created a smooth flowing essay.
Another thing I really really loved was the last paragraph. I love how you made the whole piece symmetric and the last paragraph is like the sweet little closure. I especially love the last line, and how comforter takes on a double meaning ]
There wasn't really anything I felt was wrong with this essay. Just a sweet, poetic way of sharing your happiest memories with the reader. Lovely job! Keep up the good work!
| YasuRan chapter 1 . 6/21/2010
I'm very impressed overall. The opening had me hooked from the get-go and kept me hooked through the flow of words, especially with the repetitive theme of 'orange like'. The pacing of memories were well-interconnected and paced, taking the reader through the flow of thought easily from beginning to end. The latter was particularly nice as it shows how far you've come to the the beginning again: orange being your favorite color tied in with the warmth of your comforter.
Each scene was well-described without being sparse or delving into purple prose, each adding well to the poignancy of the memories interconnected. Yet, there was nothing overly melancholic, just the sweetness of relishing one's childhood past. I wish I could pick a favorite but I can't. All of them were so well-written :)
Writing-wise, nothing to complain about. You obviously knew where you were going with this and seemed to have enjoyed writing this. The feeling transfers to reader, rendering this piece all the more delightful. I couldn't find any spelling or grammar mistakes so good on you for beta-reading or using a spell-checker, whichever it may be.
When it comes to techniques, I think this essay's uniqueness lies in the flow and structure. By most standards, there is no clear beginning or end with the you as the writer chaining your memories together. The structure of each paragraph, wherein the last line of each is left open to lead the reader into the next, works surprisingly well showing that you are confident in what you do as to take a risk with your writing. It lends what would have otherwise been a typical run-of-the-mill essay on an admittedly dull topic an original flair which not people can pull off.
Pardon me for so many run-on sentences but the fact remains: I enjoyed every word of your essay and would certainly recommend it to anyone ineterested. Well done!