|Reviews for The World in Play: Chapter 6: Consequences|
| Lily Alder chapter 5 . 7/15/2014
So do we ever find out more about the 'being' with the bell?
| LKH-Author chapter 1 . 4/21/2014
'Your verbs (specifically verbs that describe someone talking) are really awkward. A lot of "saids" specifically. Not enough plot to keep me hooked. It kind of hurt my head to read past the first few paragraphs, actually.' -I'm not sure what you mean. Why is 'said' awkward?
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/20/2014
Your verbs (specifically verbs that describe someone talking) are really awkward. A lot of "saids" specifically. Not enough plot to keep me hooked. It kind of hurt my head to read past the first few paragraphs, actually.
| GuestIV chapter 2 . 3/19/2013
| summersidefolly chapter 1 . 3/13/2011
What exactly is a right-hand-vampire? Is it an adaption of 'right-hand-man' or is this vampire right-handed opposed to left-handed? Or is this vampire just standing on the right-hand side of the author?
| Lynn K. Hollander chapter 1 . 10/8/2010
Yes, I know Jason is from Greek myth. However, one of the translators putting the Hebrew/Christian Bible into English from the Greek used Jason instead of just transliterating the Greek transliteration of the original Hebrew name, which might have been Jesus or Joshua.
| marceline the vampire queen chapter 2 . 7/9/2010
I am reviewing all your stories like a nice person, so if you want you can review mine. Not being pushy or anything. Anyway, more of these stories. You have a definite talent there.
| marceline the vampire queen chapter 1 . 7/9/2010
Hm, you actually can write quite well when you're not lecturing about grammar. Your dialogue is very professional, keep it up.