|Reviews for Ambiguous|
| sssilverbones chapter 1 . 6/16/2011
| Xelli chapter 1 . 12/9/2010
I have always loved the trickster characters from all cultures. This is one of the few slash versions that has been done well that I have read and still maintains a feel of trickster to me. Nice, felt like a dreamscape in places. Imagery was point and plot side for certain, but there is no reason that cannot be. Point of view at times seemed a bit confused. Little spurts of omnipotent narrator or protagonist who was a little too self-aware. I guess the long and short of it is that I liked it. Good Job
| SerialXLain chapter 1 . 7/12/2010
I confess I haven't finished reading this for so long for several reasons.
A) I wanted to make it last.
B) Your writing makes me extemely jealous. xD
C) I felt bad reading without yet finishing what I was writing for you.
When I was fourteen, I had a character named Coyote. I've loved the name ever since. *heartemote* And I loved your character Coyote in general.
I liked the "meteor shower of lovers" line a lot. And a lot of other things a lot. I'm just too lazy to point them out because there are so many. .-.
Brothers on a hotel bed. Woo Death Cab.
And I also liked the motel and diners. Because I like both of those. A lot.
Thanks so much. I loved it. And I'm sorry for taking so long to read it and taking longer to write you something. .-.
500 words and counting for my story for you. xD
| Daydream Nation chapter 1 . 6/22/2010
If there's one story on FP that I would describe as beautiful, it's this.
| Triizore chapter 1 . 6/21/2010
I love how you add little bits of description about what Coyote was instead of just giving a stereotypical mythological creature (vampire, faerie, werewolf... etc) and leaving it at that.
Did you live in the southwest? Because many of your stories have a similar setting (New Mexico, Arizona, Southern California)
| Thornton chapter 1 . 6/20/2010
Okay, saw that you're looking for some feedback on the style of this one, so I'll go ahead and give it my best shot:
Generally speaking, this piece is almost all mood and quirky detail; the actual plot and characterization are playing second (or third, or fourth) fiddle to the artsy vibe. You are quite good at creating that vibe and including awesome details, but with something this lengthy, it gets a little overly precious and wearying. There's some wonderful, evocative imagery here, but it's treading a wee bit left of pretentious, IMO. You've got a nice ear for figurative language, but maybe you should work on making it the spice in the stew instead of the meat, eh? Short, choppy paragraphs are really effective, but again, IMO, they work best when used more sparingly. I'm craving a straightforward passage of exposition that isn't dripping with high-impact language and bizarre evocative imagery. The style is totally swamping the substance and 8,0 words of it is a bit exhausting.
It's obvious you have a lot of talent, but you're beating us over the head with it in this piece. If your goal is to write stuff that's readable and easy for a (relatively) broad audience to enjoy, I'd suggest using more restraint.
| esie chapter 1 . 6/18/2010
I liked it. For some reason i was kept captivated from beginning to end.
Whimsical, uplifting for a story that quite frankly has many sad plotlines.
| RaisdenCaptivity chapter 1 . 6/18/2010
*feels a little like a raving fangirl for this review, but oh well*
I feel like I just got back from a journey. I don't care how cliché/random/odd/*whatever* that sounds, it's true. Your words have a way of sucking me right in, and I did not want to get out. It was a slightly surreal feeling for me when the story ended. I felt like I was waking up, but not from sleep, just a very gripping daydream. I haven't felt like that for a long time... It was nice to read something that could evoke that feeling in me again.
I especially loved the moments that made me pause just to completely absorb certain lines. One of my favorite moments was when Sikya said, "You don't have to believe in anything." It just felt so poignant to me. However, what really made it hit home was that despite the fact that the statement seemed to possess a sort of magic, the story moved right along to detail the dim surroundings as though it were completely unaffected. It was just... *brilliant*.
Another thing I loved was the way you described your characters, particularly this: "Annie had pink hair and a lip ring. Cody was afraid of her, and they were best friends." It managed to convey so much with so little.
Also, your imagery is amazing. I could clearly picture what you were describing and what made that most intriguing is that the barren wastelands Cody lived in somehow became pretty.
I did notice an error, though. The 'Albuquerque, New Mexico. The next evening' passage appears to have been cut off.
There's so much more praise I'd love to give, but I just can't seem to find the words. I think it's very apparent at this point that I really did love your story. It was amazing. Thanks so much for sharing!
| pour bottes chapter 1 . 6/17/2010
Haha Amusing rewrite of how the wood tick became flat. Your style, your style, your style is ADORABLE. I love the weight your short, direct sentences put into the story. The time jumps are confusing, but adds to the bitter sweet mood. Angsty