|Reviews for You'd Forgotten How To Breathe|
| Vanity Means Nothingness chapter 1 . 7/16/2010
Every fucking time I come here expecting a little ditty to read, to pass my time, and I get absolutely mindblown.
| victoriajoan chapter 1 . 6/26/2010
This gave me an odd sense of satisfaction (but in the weird sort of way that leaves me wanting more, you know?). I loved every line. It's like, intoxicating, the way you were able to make me feel all these emotions with each word.
'You're motherfucking dead' is probably my favorite part, because - coming after the intense bangbangbang - it seems eerily calm to me, and that added this really dramatic element that caused it to stick in my head.
This is the first of your work that I have read, and I'm definitely planning on ready more.
| thewhimsicalbard chapter 1 . 6/22/2010
The bangbangbang part was so vivid-I loved how the onomonopoeia transitioned to the head/dead rhyme. Great little bit right there.
This may be bold, but is "heathen"-"boy" the same soul who has inspired most of your other tortured works? I do truly hope so. This piece is a fantastic little serving of "F- YOU, A-HOLE!"
The parenthetical expression was well placed. I think you could have put that in somewhere else though, especially if FP let you use the tab key to do some arranging-you could have indented it or something and left it in the middle of the second stanza, or something (I am just musing, btw).
Good poem. It's definitely my favorite one of yours. It's such a great stand against people who piss you off. I'm quite impressed; you vary from your usual tone of pressing emotional claustrophobia and (pardon me...) agnst; you turned around and said, "ENOUGH!" and blew the emotional rock up with an RPG (ps i heart meta-fors).
Best poem you've written so far.