Reviews for I Owe Eve
Manifest-Destiny-x X chapter 1 . 7/11/2010
Pantoum! They are my absolute favorite to write! You have done so well with the grammar and format of this piece that I'm somewhat in awe. The grammar doesn't sound at all forced, like pantoums sometimes can. In fact, it sounds effortless. LOVE IT!
Your-Magpie chapter 1 . 6/22/2010
you sound like much of a feminist, that much shows- although in some of your previous poems you say otherwise! -odd...

something you seem to be really strong at is siblance, you give each stanza. its interesting how the subject matter here is about adam/eve, and there obv is a snake involved, so i liked that device being used here.

the enjambment was really effective, as well. gave the poem a fast pace, made me read it faster and faster, so gave the ending stanzas a lot more punch than if they werent enjambmented(sp?or is that even a word?)

'as pregnant as a grave' was a really nice simile, original, and gave imagery- the life of bringing life, and the non-life of the bed of the dead.

i also liked that in the same paragraph you paralleled the maternal imagery by making the tunnels mothering-although now ive re-read it, im sure you're not on about your average stone tunnels... haha.

in the next stanza, the repetitinon was really powerful.

and the word labour made me think of the maternal imagery again- haha, you really are loving the feminine-

the ending was nice, i liked that you saved the title to end it, it made me want to read to the end.

overall, i really like you're writing style, and i like your subtle undertones. i really like your poem, and after looking at your other poems, i really like you at a poet in general.

am glad i found your page!

-Keys

(from the review returners forum)
Isca chapter 1 . 6/21/2010
"I owe Eve more than a rib." Talk about a gripping opening line! I like the subtle sensuality here. I almost get the feeling that speaker feels as though he 'owes her awe.'

"The soil: as pregnant as a grave." Wow. Honestly, I adore this line; the image is quite bold-melancholic, yet beautiful.

"It is mothering tunnels." Masterful phrasing here.
noctema chapter 1 . 6/21/2010
everything and nothing.

my favorite poem by you, by far. :)
Ayx chapter 1 . 6/21/2010
I loved the third stanza. I think it was the most powerful and

directed the message of the poem.

Ayx
Faithless Juliet chapter 1 . 6/20/2010
Pantoums are awsome aren't they?

Loved the idea of owing more to Eve, the feminist in me just smiles and cheers that statement. Eve ad a character is such a strong composition, I've always thought of her ad a child while in the garden, and then a woman once she and Adam were banished.

I also loved all of the sunlight imagery, like Eden is this blistering forever daylight realm, yet you also talk about skeletons which is a strong contrast of the two gaunt teenagers amongst so much sunlight which is naturally a life giver and source of nurishment.

As far as the formatting goes you got everything right. Keep up the good work.

Much love,

Juliet.