Reviews for Under the Skin
KillaCupcakes chapter 1 . 7/2/2010
Wow. Where to begin...This story was simply bad. I don't know how else to put the characters were underdeveloped. As someone who lives in Alabama, particularly Birmingham, I can comfortably say that the dialogue was unrealistic by today's standards, and since people weren't as educated in 1928, the dialogue is definitely unrealistic for that time period. Also, the characters were poorly described and underdeveloped. I could hardly tell one from the other. The writing was also choppy and disjointed. It didn't flow very smoothly.I could be nitpicky about the names, but I won't. Another major fail point: a white man and a black woman will not have BLACK children, period. Some of the kids may have darker skin than others and may looker "blacker" than a typical mixed race person, but none of them will be black; they will be biracial.

I'm not trying to be mean, and I don't want you to think I'm flaming you, but this description of this story intrigued me. I like the subject matter, but the delivery was poor. With you being a 21-year-old literature major and a Southerner, I expected more. I hope you continue to improve, and good luck with your future stories.