|Reviews for Cutter|
| DeviLGirl101 chapter 1 . 8/7/2010
And then there was silence. Very deep, not bad.
| Lomesa chapter 1 . 7/28/2010
Reviewing poems isn't really my speciality... as you now, but here it goes.
On the poem as a whole:
A poem about a cutter. There are so many angsty poems written by teens on this subject... In my opinion the theme has lost much of it's impact. It has become steoreotyped like emo, you know? The progression in the poem is nice, but at times it is a little vague and I think it could be much better if you somehow created a little more suspense towards the end.
Blood Nice way to start, really grabs your attention
"It's not that bad!" The way you phrased it makes it sound like she is pleasantly surprised just after she tried a food that she thought would be disgusting but which turned out to taste okay, so she'll try another bite.
"Bleed, you hopeless case, you'll never get anywhere…"
Bleed, bleed… Using bleed in the previous line made this sound a little to repetitive
Stings up and down my arm
Hand covers bleeding arm
Falls, falls… Blood falling off one's arm? That sound a little strange to me
Floods onto clothes
Hand opens bathing tap
Blood fills cold bath
Slides in tub, moans…
Strangled yelps, strangled yelps… Why strangled? She's drowning. I get that you're using choking later on so you can't use it here as well, but the strangled yelps just doesn't fit.
Closes taps, burns open slices… Little confused here. She's closing the taps and then something burns open slices? Where are the slices being burnt open? I guess she got into the tub and the water is burning the open cuts on her arm. The last part of that sentence sounded a little vague
Feels so faint, turns white
Struggled breaths, struggled breaths… Like the alliteration, the s's make me think of someone going shh... putting his finger in front of your lips, like you should keep quiet about the tragedy that is busy happening. Well done.
Silence Started in blood ended in silence. The ending feels so final. Liked it.
Wish I could help you more and this is just my opinion, it could be faulty but I hope it helps you somehow! Hope you didn't mind me pasting the poem onto the review, it makes things so much easier!
| XSummerxKissesX chapter 1 . 6/26/2010
very chilling; i liked it (:
| Eternal Skies chapter 1 . 6/26/2010
I read a lot of "Cutting" poems but so far, this is the best
I loved the great show of anxiety and the fast pace of the poem. Plus the idea of repeating words after every line was pretty well-done.
This was more about the cutting, and less about the feelings. The images were intense, in a good way