|Reviews for Magnolia Mae Mason|
| Xandrea chapter 12 . 6/20/2011
This was a great chapter. Everyone is so cute. I love all their personalities. Can't wait for more. :)
| Xandrea chapter 10 . 4/29/2011
That was awesome. Totally loved the fight. They spider story was also pretty funny. :)
| Xandrea chapter 9 . 4/29/2011
Okay, my favorite part was the very end. Very cute. :)
| LilMaria chapter 10 . 4/28/2011
Honest to God, this is the first story I've read that depicts the South. I go to college in the South and it made me very happy to read this story!
One thing, your chapters seem very compressed. what this means is that you need to add an extra space between each dialogue
"Hi So and SO!"
"Whats up so and so no.2?"
as apposed to:
"Hi so and so!"
"Whats up so and so no.2!"
when we do these things it keeps the reader reading. when things are in big chunks in a story, people generally skip it, which is never a good thing to do (skipping)
that's my only note! I'm really enjoying this story and cant wait to read more of your work!
Peace and Love
| writing-the only love i need chapter 9 . 4/6/2011
So cute! Keep it up and please update soon.
| Xandrea chapter 8 . 4/5/2011
Awe. This was so sweet. Looved it. Can't wait for more, girlie.
| Xandrea chapter 6 . 4/5/2011
This chapter was cute. Are Cody and Jordan representative off anyone?
| Spontaneous Juju chapter 6 . 3/9/2011
Okay, so, I try not too be too critical (since, hello, no one likes a jerk) but I do have a few comments/questions/suggestions.
Comment 1: Drew is such a jerk. :( Comment 2: So is Blaire. :[
Questions: Why is Drew going with Blaire if he and Maggie are friends? Doesn't he know what she's like? (Read: a bitch) Why was he acting jealous before, when people talked about Maggie getting a boyfriend at college, if he was just going to run off and date the girl who had already stolen Maggie's past boyfriends? Is he going to be excommunicated from their group? Have Jordan and Cody always been interested in Maggie's other friends, Summer and Celeste, or is this a platonic thing? Did we know Jimmy (Maggie's dad, right?) was a drunk from the start? (That part really confused me. It didn't sound like she had much trouble with that sort of thing with him before... although he did name the dog Whiskey. Maybe just make it a little clearer before he passes out in the driveway?) Finally, are we ever going to see the fruit delivery guy again? Because I'm already rooting for him as a better-than-Drew-would've-been love interest. (Of course, he's the only male of appropriate age who isn't already dating one of Maggie's friends that we've been introduced to so far.) And if not him, maybe Maggie will meet someone at the dance? (I'm still rooting for the anonymous Fruit Delivery Boy, though. Sorry.)
Suggestions: just clear up some of the things about Maggie's relationship with her dad earlier on, I think. Also, it seems like you're switching tenses a lot and some of your phrasing seems a little awkward... sorry, I'm kind of a stickler for that sort of thing. :/ I would suggest maybe looking for a beta to catch the small grammatical errors beforehand, which would probably help clear up some of the storyline, too. :) Okay, I'll stop now.
Sorry for being such a downer... it just seems like a great story so far, and I know I always appreciate it when I get definitive constructive criticism since it helps me write better, and I'm hoping it'll do the same for you. I'm looking forward to seeing more of this!
| Xandrea chapter 5 . 1/12/2011
Okay I love this. Everything's written perfectly. It all seemed familiar for some reason but I don't know why. -Cough cough- haha. You really are an amazing writer I can't wait to read the next chapter. :)
| Xandrea chapter 3 . 12/27/2010
I really really like these past two chapters. You're characters are great. I love their personalities. I can't wait to read more :)
| Xandrea chapter 1 . 6/30/2010
I really like this. A lot. Is this your first story?